Gooner Daily

The Sun is already out in Abuja.  My tales about the harmattan are turning into a cliche so i won’t make any comment about it.

The Emirates Stadium in recent times has been a happy hunting ground for some teams this season. The win against WigWig was taken as a first step to the “Emirates Revival”, Fulham were up next.

The team we played yesterday has never won a game in Arsenal’s home ground. They also have no away win this season.

A defeat to Fulham yesterday would have been Arsenal’s third straight home defeat in the Premier League. A feat that has not happened in 33 good years.

Our faithful consistent right back, Bacary “Timaya” Sagna notched up his 150th appearance in Arsenal colours. Its really good to see him get back to his consistent form that earned him a place in the PFA Team of the year in his first full season with Arsenal.

I hoped for a tantalizing and orgasmic Arsenal performance. What i got was one of those Arsenal “High Blood Pressure” games.

In a nutshell, Arsenal vs Fulham had a good start for the gunners, an amazing first goal, an annoying equalizer, frustration, frustration, more frustration, a tiny bright spark, a brilliant match winning second goal, ending HBP moments, a 3-point reserving goalkeeping save, few nail biting moments and the final whistle. Phew!!!

Fulham offered a weak attacking threat in the form the white Senegalese striker, Kamara. They also had Clit Dempsey who turned out to be a cheat when he faked an injury. Even the man with the whistle was not impressed by the Clit, he even told the Fulham physio to go back. The Clit was booed from there onwards, he even gave the assist for the white Senegalese. Ain’t that a bitch.

There was small talk about Mark Schwarzer in the build-up to the game. Arsenal were just £2m away from his services. When AW disappointed the pundits and some fans by saying that he’s sticking to Flyin Fabbi and Szszszszsz, the news obviously disappointed Mr. Schwarzer so he agreed to extend his stay in Fulham by signing a new deal that would make him stay in the club till he starts growing white hair. Thank goodness for him agreeing to stay in Fulham till eternity, at least his grand kids can watch him in action.

AW made 9 changes from the Carling Spoon winning side. Andrei “Hotty Pancake” Arshavin had another good game. Its good to see his consistency and work rate chipping in. We needed our “senior” players to stand up and be counted and he duly delivered. I’m happy to say that the Hotty Pancake is back in business. He even added to his ever increasing number of assists by supplying the “gunpowder” for El-Rufai”s “bomb of a goal” in the 15th minute. Samir “El-Rufai” Nasri left two Fulham defenders on their backsides before thumping home with his left foot from close range.

In Nigeria, we call it………….”Hold Something”

While he ran to the corner flag to celebrate his goal, the two defenders were still bewildered about how a fellow professional footballer made them use their ass to clean the stadium. They were quite lucky they were wearing black shorts, it would have been extremely disgraceful for their kids watching at home if their ass was stained through the game.

El-Rufai was so good that Mark “Sparky” Hughes couldn’t bear the torture his young left back Briggs was receiving. He had to bring on his regular right back Baird to ease Fulham’s woes.

Arsenal started playing very well and became profligate. Then we activated the Arsenal Self Destruct Button, Sebastien “Squisha” Squilacci and Laurent “Kos100%tackle” Koscielny were going for the same ball, Squisha gave Kos100%tackle a head-butt WWE’s Umaga would have been proud of. This head-butt made Kos100%tackle turn into a Mortal Kombat character about to be finished (groggy), a space opened up and the Clit gave a simple pass to Kamara who turn slotted the ball past an onrushing Flyin Fabbi.

This was a typical occurence for opposition sides coming to the Emirates……..first chance, first goal.  BeanPole Zigic did it for McAlbino’s Blues, WWE Edge did it for the Cartoons and the World’s best left-footed Chimpanzee did it for Twitch FC.

Timaya showed grit and determination to shove off a challenge and supply an inch perfect cross to Marouane “ChiAmaka” Chamakh which he missed. With his reputation as an aerial specialist, i expected better……Attackers like Klose, Drogba, Luca Toni and Cahill would have made mince meat of the cross and we would be 2-1 up.

At half time it was a 1-1 draw but i still felt upbeat because i knew we had a lot of quality on the bench.

Hotty Pancake did a Nasri-esque dribble on two Fulham defenders but Mr. Schwarzer’s left leg saved the day for Fulham……at that moment at least.

Tomas “Banana Lomo” Rosicky was withdrawn for RVP. We expected an onslaught from there onwards but we got the opposite. Fulham started frustrating the players and fans alike with a spell of possession. They carried this on for several minutes. The sub glassboned vP did not even touch the ball for almost 10 minutes. Suddenly, a bright spark appeared from nowhere. Alexandre “Sabinus” Song was having a very putrid game. His passes were wasteful, he was really having a bad day at the office. However, his pressure on the Ghanaian pant would have made us go 2-1 up. I don’t know who was a bigger fool…..The Ghanaian pant for doing a backheel instead of clearing it out for a corner or Sabinus for attempting to shoot the ball when there were 2 of his teammates were clear.

The chips were really really down….up stepped Arsenal’s man of the moment, Samir “El-Rufai” Nasri.

After some good interplay, the ball got to glassboned vP. Seasons ago you would’ve placed a bet that RvP would shoot that ball because it was on his favourite left foot, but he chose to feed El-Rufai who was too slippery for the Ghanaian pant and too canny for Mr. Schwarzer. The angle was very acute but he some how twirled his body and slotted the ball home.  That was a goal worthy of winning any match.

A little credit should go to France’s disgrace of a coach, Raymond Domenech. He felt that El-Rufai was not good enough to make the French squad going to the World Cup. That unlocked the beast within and Arsenal are reaping the benefits. I just pray that the demons of injury will not come near El-Rufai because he has been a class act in 2010 for Arsenal Football Club. His wonder goal against FC Porto is among the contenders for FIFA’s goal of the year.

With things back to normal on the scoreboard, Fulham came to us with one final surge. Lukasz “Flyin Fabbi” Fabianski once again proved to his critics that he can be the difference between 3 points and 1 point. The low save for Zoltan Gera’s shot was a remainder that his concentration levels are second to none. His save percentage this season is at 74%  which stands at 6th place in the goalkeeping save percentage standings. Edwin van der Sar sits at 10th place with 71%, Heurelho Gomes 11th with 70% and Pepe Reina 16th with 67%.

For my FM match ratings.

Flyin Fabbi’s (7.0) save in the dying minutes of the game was fantastic. Flash (6.7) had a good game and was steady. Timaya (7.1) put on another consistent performance. Squisha (6.5) didn’t have much to do but his head-butt was not nice because it put his teammate on a stretcher. Kos100%tackle (6.3) spent half an hour on the pitch. Sabinus (5.9) was trashy today. Whizkhid (6.4) did okay in midfield but had to be sacrificed when AW wanted to turn on the screw. Banana Lomo (6.4) did okay and was disappointed not to get his first goal on the 34th try. El-Rufal (9.3) was on fire. 11 goals, 14 starts…..enough said. Hotty Pancake (7.4) huffed and puffed, but the piggies at Fulham kept him at bay. ChiAmaka (6.3) was very profligate today with his chances. Injourou (7.2) was a beast at the back, he did n’t miss any aerial challange. glassboned vP (6.7) didn’t do too much but the high point of his game today was his assist to El-Rufai. Wal Cunt (6.0) put on a cuntly display, i didn’t understand how he ran with the ball from the centre of the pitch and gifted Fulham a goalkick.

Notable faces like Thierry “Igwe” Henry and Phillippe “Send Errors” Senderos came to watch the game. Send Errors is a Fulham player but he has been out with an Achilles tendon injury he had in the summer. It was good to see him with El Capitan. Rumours have it that it was Send Errors that made El Capitan settle quickly to life in London because of his proficiency in speaking 6 languages, Spanish included.

The Red Hell Owners didn’t play the Fruities so Arsenal sits at the summit of Mount Premiership after 16 weeks of climbing, clinging on and falling.

The Red Hell Owners like us have a Champions League game in midweek so they can’t play the Fruities to reclaim top spot for this week at least. A draw in Old Strafford come Sunday will definately not be the end of the World as we know it. More on that game as the days go by.

The Gunners have to also thank Leighton “Crossa” Baines for delivering the inch-perfect cross that led to the Scots Blues equalizer late on. The penalty winning foul against Nicolas “Nneka” Anelka was rubbish if you ask me. He played the ball past the Bald American Hawk but replays show that he rammed himself to the Hawk instead of getting the ball.

Even the 7 minutes P.D.P. time was not enough to secure all 3 points. Poetic Justice is also a big ass biatch.

I didn’t go for service to write this blog so i pray that the good Lord forgives this blogger for not keeping the Sabbath day holy.

This good times are back gooners.

Let’s relish everyday as they pass knowing fully well that with a summer signing input of roughly £13m compared to Man City’s £100m, we are “top of the league”.

Happy Sunday