The Repercussions of Chelsea’s Champions League Adventure

“Anti-football” came into the limelight when Chelsea’s Guus Hiddink visited the Nou Camp in the 2009 Champions League semifinals to literally park the bus. They received a mixed reception of praise and criticism for that performance but it didn’t really matter because Andres Iniesta and his alien lot had the last laugh.

Chelsea were faced with the same gruelling task of visiting the Nou Camp three years later and the odds were firmly stacked against Roberto di Matteo’s hordes. Despite a valiant yet negative defensive performance, Chelsea had enough in the tank to quell the threat Barcelona posed.

Spanish diver-in-chief Sergi Busquets opened the scoring when the defense cracked after some intense pressure and it seemed as if the floodgates were set to open when Iniesta scored a neat finish. However, Ramires the Great Lizard scored a goal Carlos Vela would have been proud of and this was followed by the match clincher by El Flopino.

Having just four shots on target and a possession of 18.5 percent over the course of two legs showed how much Barcelona dominated the proceedings. Despite the fact that Spanish football has become accustomed to treating the ball as a friend, games are won by goals.

Chelsea’s cause wasn’t helped when the ex-girlfriend shagger earned himself an early bath after an off-the-ball infringement on Alexis Sanchez. For what it’s worth, John Terry won’t be around to slip on the penalty spot to smash an effort off the post.

Speaking of penalties, Bayern Munich, the dark horses of this season’s Champions League, had to depend on the lottery of a penalty shootout to end Jose Mourinho’s dream of being the first manager to potentially win the competition with three different teams.

Sergio Ramos also became the first player in a long while to launch his shot into orbit in a semifinal.

You can’t blame Rafael Nadal’s clone though, the sky is his limit.

Bayern Munich now head to the finals in front of their home crowd and that will certainly be an incentive to add another Champions League title to their trophy-laden cabinet, unlike a prestigious club in North London :(

Both teams will head into the final with their fair share of injuries and of course, suspensions.

As stated earlier, Chelsea will be without the football creator of ex-girlfriend shaggernomics, John Terry. They’ll also be without Ramires the Great Lizard, Big Arse Ivanovic and that Portuguese bloke that has more tattoos than the amount of times Lionel Messi checks his mirror to see if his height has increased.

Bayern Munich on the other hand, will be without David Alaba Market, who was undoubtedly my Man of the Match yesterday. He picked himself up from the disappointment of conceding an early penalty to put up a stellar performance. The Bavarians will also be without Holger Badstuber and Luis Gustavo.

England is permitted to feature only four teams in the Champions League. The fact that Chelsea has a 50 percent chance of winning the competition means that the team that ends up in fourth place has a high chance of playing Europa League football next season. 

The battle for the final slots of the Champions League is between Arsenal, Newcastle, Tottenham and potential Champions League winners, Chelsea.

As an Arsenal fan, the pleasure of seeing Tottenham falter on a weekly basis is certainly not orgasmic, but it has a way of filling you up with smiles and fits of laughter. The most hilarious part of it all is the fact that Twitchy Ol’ ‘Arry and his Spuds actually had plans of…winning the Premier League.

Tottenham is won just once in their last nine games but they have the easiest set of fixtures on paper.They are set to play three teams battling to stay afloat relegation waters in the form of Blackburn, Bolton and Wigan and they’ll end their campaign against Everton.

Tottenham needs to win all these games to stand a chance of finishing the league in third place. However, the chances of Tottenham ending this campaign as the third best team in the land is as impossible as Gareth Bale going to the zoo without being recognized by his fellow primates. 

Chelsea have two cup finals to look forward too next month but they are in a pretty precarious league position as far as qualification for the Champions League is concerned.

“On the bright side”, the Blues are set to play three of their four remaininf league games at home with the only away trip being the FA Cup final prequel against Liverpool. 

I certainly have no problem with Chelsea winning the FA Cup because they are still eons behind Arsenal by virtue of trophies won in that competition. I’ll certainly go berserk if they win the Champions League before my beloved Arsenal. 

For those that don’t know, Bayern Munich bleeds red and I’m certainly going to support the team that shares the same colors with my blood. :D 

Arsenal still remains in pole position to clinch third place but the Gunners have the threat of the resurgent Newcastle to contend with. 

The chances of Tottenham and Chelsea finishing in third place are slim to none, but they stand a chance of usurping Newcastle in fourth place.

I must say that I’ve been hugely impressed by Alan Pardew and his lot. The manager will have a big fight in his hands to keep his key players that have shone like the stars they are.

While Arsenal takes on Stoke, Norwich and West Brom, Newcastle has a tougher task with daunting games against Chelsea and title hopefuls Manchester City before playing Wigan and Everton, 

The gauntlet has been thrown for Arsenal to hold the fort, and as Gunnerblog rightly stated, fourth place is a risk we simply can’t take 

I’ll end today’s post with some quotes from Gunnerblog’s last post 

Despite the fact it’s something of a disastrous result for Arsenal fans, I can only offer my congratulations to Chelsea on an extraordinary performance at the Nou Camp. There is a lesson to be learnt there: whilst Chelsea aren’t your traditional underdog, they showed that no side is unbeatable, no contest pre-determined. With the exception of the idiotic John Terry, they were a credit to themselves and the Premier League. 

Right. Off to wash my mouth out. 

Sayonara

 

 

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About enigma106

An Arsenal fan with a good sense of humor

Posted on April 26, 2012, in Arsenal, Champions League, Football, Premier League and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. bola ogundairo

    What else can I say?

  2. Are you sure you are not related to James Hadley Chase? Lovely read!

  3. Nice writeup…..

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