Daily Archives: December 7, 2010

Stainless Steel, Pre-Champions League knockout round expectations and more defensive talk

Sorry for †нє lateness of today’s blog post.

My BlackBerry’s battery went dead due to unlimited pings and tweets…..Oops I forgot that I was on “TwitVac”…so it was just unlimited pings.

So I spent all day sleeping and eating while waiting for PHCN show me some love. So much for †нє 7 point agenda. If a mystical pixie or leprechaun could convert each minute I spent sleeping to Naira…….

AW was asked in August to register a squad of 25 players for †нє 10-month long Premier League Campaign.
His defence however, is in dire need of replenishment. Our signing of last season and star defender, Thomas “Verminator” Vermaelen injured his Achilles tendon while leading his motherland Belgium in a European Cup qualifier. He’s last game for †нє club that pays his wages and cater to his footballing needs was against †нє Rugby Boyz of Blue and White on †нє 28th of August. This has kept him out to at least January 2011. This is almost equaling †нє time our glassboned vP spent after rupturing his ankle ligament in a pointless friendly against a country that is renowned for giving players long term injuries. Ronaldo “BigBelle” Da Lima can testify to that. †нє Verminator’s absense left our defence in †нє able hands of Laurent “Kos100%tackle” Koscielny, Sebastien “Squisha” Squilacci and Johann “Injourou” Djourou.
AW has used and shuffled †нє 3 men efficiently as †нє season carried on. Unfortunately, Kos100%tackle has joined †нє Verminator in Colin Lewin’s treatment table. Kos100%tackle has really impressed me in his first top flight season in †нє ever physical Premier League. In his first ever game for Arsenal, he was clattered in †нє throwing line by †нє only skillful player England has. That earned Joe “SoloEnglishSkills” Cole an early bath. He has also suffered some back strains but he’ll be out till January 2011 because of his teammate Squisha.
This means that Arsenal football club have only 2 recognised centrebacks. Alexandre “Sabinus” Song can provide adequate cover but I feel AW will be reluctant to delve into his chequebook because its extremely hard to keep 5 centrebacks happy especially when they are all fully fit. Those that play Football Manager would know what I’m talking about.
†нє fact that we have just 2 centreback does not mean that we should fret as fans or players alike.

Our most important player and highest goal scorer (El Capitan…..sorry), Samir “El-Rufai” Nasri has been get rave reviews recently for his performances this season. He was actually Aliaksandr “DribblyMcNoScore” Hleb’s replacement. He has been talking about his superb form but he was also stressing about us keeping clean sheets at †нє back while does his thing upfront. Arsenal has kept only 4 clean sheets in †нє league this season. †нє 6-0 spanking of †нє Fruities, †нє disappointing but welcome 1-0 win against †нє Carpenters, †нє delightful yet surprising 3-0 win against †нє Cash Money Oil Money Billionaires and †нє Flyin Fabbi’s 10/10 rated 2-0 win away to †нє Wild Bingoz.
We have to improve on this. In Moaninho’s first season in charge of †нє Cashlings, many boring but effective 1-0 victories were obtained. They ended †нє season with only 15 goals conceded. A premier league record Petr “James Blunt” Cech can brag to his grandkids about.
Let’s hope we improve on this issue starting with our trip to Old Strafford. A clean sheet in Old Trafford would mean only two things. Either †нє game ends in a 0-0 draw or……..we all know what that means.

A win against Partizan tomorrow would see us qualify to †нє knock out round of †нє UEFA Champions League. Tonight’s games will decide who tops group A to D. Our english counterparts are likely to top their respective groups so they are 3 teams we might face from Tuesday’s roundup…Lyon, Schalke or Barca. †нє only fright there is Barcelona but there’s a line I got from a movie I watched years ago and it says,”†нє only way to get very strong is by playing a stronger opponent”…..(Revolver – Jason Statham, Andre 3000)
Moaninho won †нє Champions League last year by beating CSKA, Cashlings, Barca and Bayern. Our road to Paris 06′ saw us beat Real Madrid, †нє italian Grannyz and †нє yellow Submarines, we all know what happened in †нє final hurdle.
I don’t care if we meet Barca or any other team, all I care about is Arsenal playing another European side a week after St. Valentine’s day.

Manuel “Stainless Steel” Almunia has been a loyal servant to Arsenal Football Club. Since arriving from Celta Vigo in 2004, he has notched up 168 appearances for †нє club. He spent 3 good seasons staying under †нє shadow of Volatile Jens and was tagged our “Cup keeper”. Even after doing well in our 2005 FA Cup campaign, he was replaced in †нє final by Volatile Jens. That has been our last trophy but †нє point is that he never complained. We all know way Szszszszszsz did after missing out of †нє Carling Spoon 3rd round game to Twitch FC to Flyin Fabbi. Stainless Steel got his big break in †нє 2007/08 campaign and he did very well for us. He even had a couple of penalty saves †нє most notable against Robbie “MalletHead” Keane in †нє North London derby. Nicklas “Wald Bezt” Bendtner entered †нє record books for †нє fastest goal scored by a substitute in †нє league. That was some header.
With Volatile Jens off to Stuttgart, Stainless Steel still put in some decent performances. But when he realised that his deputy Flyin Fabbi was busy making horrendous mistakes and young Vittorio was not ready for †нє challenge, complacency crept into his game. He would make mistakes knowing fully well that he will still be in †нє starting line up in †нє next game. Just as how taking off †нє dreadlocks was a bad omen for Emmanuel “AdeMuMu” Adebayor, turning his hair back to brown was a bad idea for Stainless Steel. †нє blonde hair looked real good on him and who knows….it probably affected his performances…..who I’m I kidding.
†нє 2010/11 campaign didn’t start to well for Stainless Steel, he didn’t do too badly against Count Hodgson’s Vampire, he was untroubled against †нє Fruities, he damaged his back while making a great save against †нє Rugby Boyz, †нє blame fot †нє goal conceded against MadMan Coyle’s Nomads should be placed on Kos100%tackle for a bad back header, he kept a good clean sheet against Braga, was unfortunate for †нє late goal against †нє Red Stripes Black Pussies and he had a stinker against WBA.
Come on fans, this is †нє same person that ensured that we took only 1 goal back to Emirates in †нє Champions League semifinal against †нє Red Hell Owners. He messed up in †нє return for CRo’s 40-yard freekick though. He also had a storming first half against Barca last season.
†нє news info is that AW wants to sell him for £1.5m in January. †нє only problem is that I don’t see any midtable spanish side giving him what he earns here….. £50,000 per week. He’ll have to take a pay-cut if he wants to resurrect his footballing career again. Let’s just hope his fit enough to find a new club because his current contract expires when †нє world ends…..2012.

Let’s hope Twente spanks Twitch FC, I can’t fathom †нє idea that they might top their group tonight in their maiden Champions League campaign.

Happy Tuesday people, remember that SHILOH 2010 begins today.

Here’s to your own Unlimited Breakthrough.