Daily Archives: January 4, 2011
Transfer activity and Rambo returns
After a very long break out of blogging, I’m back in business. eMpTy heN thought that they could keep me at bay forever. They were really mistaken
Since the nicknames of everyone in goonerdaily’s world have been published in my last blog post, it’s going to be easy for us all.
Our match against the Cash Money Oil Money Billionaires takes place tomorrow. A full preview will be done in tomorrow’s blog post.
After spending an entire pregnancy period recuperating from a double fracture in his tibia and fibula, Aaron “Rambo” Ramsey was sent to Nottingham Forest to get some games under his belt before he attempts to pick up where he left off in his challenge for a place in the Arsenal squad. Unfortunately for Arsenal, Nottingham Forest and Rambo, the feat wasn’t really achieved. The snow in that part of the World ensures that Rambo returns to Arsenal with match rustiness. It’s good to have him back because I feel he’ll slot in that holding role well. It suits his style of play. One of his “preferred moves” in Football Manager is that he “dwells on the ball”. Billy Davies heaped some praise on the lad and hailed his “progress”. The person with the final say on Rambo’s career is AW the Alchemist. I was hoping that Rambo will extend his stay but AW the alchemist knows best. Welcome back Rambo.
Taking a look on our normally busy injury table, it’s quite amazing to say that the squad is in a “clean bill of health”…..i got that from Football Manager as well. Kieran “Ogo Gibbsy” Gibbs has had a little fight with his girlfriend who works as a physio so he has no choice but to return to the squad. The Ogo Gibbsy I know will probably reconcile with her in a few weeks time. I’m not wishing him bad but I just know that he has this bad habit of getting himself injured. Bacary “Timaya” Sagna is also fit after receiving several stamps from Lee” veteran BowyElephant” Bowyer. The BowyElephant probably thought Timaya was somewhere in his blue-green forest so he decided that it was stamping time. He got a fully rewarded six match ban for his troubles. He should say hi to the other Nigerian greek-stamping elephant, Sani Kaita while he spends over a month without competitive football. The last individual I need to comment about is Thomas “Verminator” Vermaelen. Goonerdaily’s third best player of 2010 has been inactive for four months. He’s by far our best defender and the only reason AW the Alchemist hasn’t signed a centerback. There are reports suggesting that he’s going to start running this week so let’s hope for the best.
January is the first month of the year. It’s also the month teams have the chance to replenish their squad because the halfway point has reached. Some teams use this transfer window to add quality to a mediocre position in their squad; others use it to add “numbers”. On even years, the African Cup of Nations comes as a big blow to both players and club. Some players represent their motherland in the tournament only to return and find out that their place has been lost because of the new signings involved. As good as it may seem; the January transfer window has one major disadvantage. Big teams competing in Europe’s elite competition (UEFA Champions League) can’t really sign a “big” player because he might not be eligible to play for them in that competition. Andrei “Hotty” Arshavin is a classic example of that.
In Arsenal FC, two players have come to the limelight in terms of transfer activity. The funny thing about the transfer activity is that it doesn’t involve arrivals……it involves departures.
The first player involved is Manuel “Stainless Steel” Almunia. After being usurped by Lukasz “Flyin Fabbi” Fabianski, he has been suffering from niggling injuries. Manuel Pellegrini wants him to be between the sticks in Malaga. There are also emerging tales that his services may be needed by Atletico Madrid because the club is facing a losing battle to keep their priced youngster, David De Gea. The bottomline is that Stainless Steel is available for a knockdown price of £1.5m. Wherever his possible destination is, I hope he gets his mojo back and bring back the form of the 2007/08 season.
The other player in the transfer activity limelight is Carlos “Aztec Warrior” Vela. Our favorite one –on-one ball chipper/lobber hasn’t gotten as many games as he would like this season. His 3 brilliant goals this season have come through substitute appearances. He could really do with some games. The best part of it all is that the likeliest destination is MadMan Coyle’s Nomads. That was the same destination Jack “Whizkhid” Wilshere went to. We all know the end result. Whizkhid has usurped NwaSamba Denilson and Abou “Diabytes” Diaby to become a regular starter. I believe the loan move will be very beneficial to the Aztec Warrior. It also ensures that he’ll chip keepers like Petr “James Blunt” Cech, Pepe “Baldy” Reina and the rest of the remaining 16 Buttsniffaz that call themselves Premier League goalkeepers. At least, he won’t chip Flyin Fabbi when we visit the Reebok.
That’s a wrap for today.
The games are coming very with Cash Money Oil Money Billionaires tomorrow, Leeds United on Saturday and Keano’s tractor Army next week Wednesday.
Speaking of the Cash Money Oil Money Billionaires…….Former Gunners Kolo “Kolo Mentality” Toure and Emmanuel “GreedyBayor” Adebayor got themselves in a bitch fight.
Check it out yourselves at http://twitpic.com/3mzjaf
It feels good to back.
Sayonara
Since its inception on the 26th of November, 2010, goonerdaily has being providing its esteemed readers with Arsenal news using its own writing style that made it unique. The distinct feature of my blog is the use of nicknames for basically all players, managers and clubs mentioned. The creation of any nickname must have a motive or reason behind it. I am going to write down a list of all nicknames for everybody that is connected with goonerdaily. The list begins in this order:
- Arsenal players
- Premier League Clubs and their managers
- Others mentioned in previous posts.
ARSENAL PLAYERS
This is the club I’ve been supporting since the good Lord knows when. I’ve always had this habit of giving nicks to people around me so my gunners won’t be any different. I beseech you to at least keep the nicks of our gunners in your head because I intend to stop the “name tagging” at the end of January for Arsenal players. Thanks for your understanding.
The order will be the player’s real name, the nickname and the reason behind the nickname.
GOALIES
ALMUNIA, Manuel – “Stainless Steel” – His surname sounds like the metal used in Stainless Steel production, Aluminium.
FABIANSKI, Lukasz – “Flyin Fabbi” – He has the reflexes of a cat and Fabbi is like a short form for his name
SZCZESNY, Wojciech – “Szszszsz” – His surname can make you bite your tongue.
MANNONE, Vito – “Don Vittorio” – He looks like an Italian mafia gangsta.
RIGHT BACKS
SAGNA, Bacary – “Timaya” – His hairstyle reminds me of Timaya
EBOUE, Emmanuel – “Farma” – His diving acts can be used to “till the soil”
LEFT BACKS
CLICHY, Gael – “Flash” – His lightning speed
GIBBS, Kieran – “Ogo Gibbsy” – His elongated skull (Ogo in Yoruba)
CENTER BACKS
VERMAELEN, Thomas – “The Verminator” – His assassin like look that reminds people of the Terminator
DJOUROU, Johan – “Injourou” – Because of the large amount of time he spent out injured
KOSCIELNY, Laurent – “Kos100%tackle” – His amazing anticipation ability
SQUILLACI, Sebastien – “Squisha” – The “Squi” factor
DEFENSIVE MIDFIELDERS
SONG, Alexandre – “Sabinus” – The guy too sabi ball abeg…….lol
DENILSON, Neves – “NwaSamba” – He’s a young Brazilian
CENTRAL/ATTACKING MIDFIELDERS
FABREGAS, Francesc – “El Capitan” – The Captain in Spanish
DIABY, Abou – “Diabytes” – He plays as if his suffering from his own syndrome, Diabytes
WILSHERE, Jack – “Whizkhid” – His present status as a wonderkid
ROSICKY, Tomas – “Banana Lomo” – His playing style is “slippery”
RAMSEY, Aaron – “Rambo” – That’s his real nick….AquaNama wasn’t too cool. Cc @dkingpin
WINGERS
NASRI, Samir – “El-Rufai” – He bears an almost identical name with former FCT minister, Nasir El-Rufai
ARSHAVIN, Andrei – “Hotty” – Kinda looks like an owl. Owls hoot. #okbye
VELA, Carlos – “Aztec Warrior” – His Mexican descent
WALCOTT, Theo – “Wal Kuint” – Almost the same pronunciation
CENTRE FORWARDS
van Persie, Robin – “glassboned vP” – His injury proneness
CHAMAKH, Marouane – “ChiAmaka” – Almost the same pronunciation
BENDTNER, Nicklas – “Wald Bezt” – Because he says he’s gonna be one of the World’s best strikers someday.
MANAGER
Wenger, Arsene – “AW the Alchemist” – He turns young players from LEAD to GOLD
PREMIER LEAGUE CLUBS AND THEIR MANAGERS
These are other 19 cuntbutlers we contend with for the ultimate goal – The Premier League title. The order will be the club’s real name, its nickname and the reason behind the nick. The manager’s name and nick follows shortly afterwards.
Aston Villa – “The Villans” – They were not worth a nickname creation, their manager too.
Birmingham City – “McAlbino’s Blues” – Their managers probably has a lot of recessive genes in his body, besides they are the Blues.
Blackburn Rovers – “The White and Blue Rugby boyz” – They are a rugby outfit disguised as footballers.
Blackpool – “Fruities” – In reality, they are called the Tangerines…..that’s a fruit, innit?
Bolton Wanderers – “MadMan Coyle’s Nomads” – Wanderers = Nomads, Coyle = Sane Psycho….looks it though!
Chelsea – “Cashlings” – They used to be the money super heavyweights but got demoted when the Arab boyz came around. Manager: Carlo the Cannibal – He could eat a human with one gulp
Everton – “Scot’s Blues” – They are the Blues, manager a Scot……do the Math!
Fulham – “Fool-ham” – One of my personal favourites; same pronunciation, different meaning
Liverpool – “Count Hodgson’s Vampires” – Jersey colour: Blood Red
Manchester City – “Cash Money Oil Money Billionaires” – It’s all about the Arab Benjamins.
Manchester United – “Red Hell Owners” – Jersey colour: Red, who owns Hell?: You-know-Who…definitely not Lord Voldemort. Manager: Sir A. Chewie – He chews the cud in chewing gum form.
Newcastle United – “Cartoons” – The last time I checked they were called the Toons.
Stoke City – “Red Striped Rugby boys” – Another rugby outfit wearing red striped jerseys
Sunderland – “Red Striped Black Pussies” – Cat = Pussy, you know the rest
Tottenham Hotspurs – “Twitch FC” – He’s got a twitch
West Bromwich Albions – “WBA” – Like Aston Villa, they aren’t worth @enigma106’s brain power.
West Ham United – “Carpenters” – Carpenters use “Hammers”
Wigan Athletic – “WigWig” – Sounds nice.
Wolves – “Wild Bingoz” – They are a bunch of wild dogs disguised in a gold plated jersey.
OTHERS MENTIONED IN PREVIOUS POST
Once in a bloody while, some WankHammers put their unwanted noses in Arsenal business. @enigma106 has his own way of dealing them. Their nicks are always the funniest. They include:
FC Barcelona – “BarcAliens” – Bloody aliens who came to invade Earth with their inhuman football.
INIESTA, Andres – “WhiteZombie”- Dunno about you, but I think he needs a proper Sun tan.
DOMENECH, Raymond – “ArseCrater, Arseling, Cuntus….you name it” – He felt El-Rufai not good enough for his wretched squad. His lucky that El-Rufai is still young. I pray he gets sodomised by an angry bear someday.
EVRA, Patrice – “Monsieur Tuck-in” – Can’t fly his jersey even if his life depended on it.
NANI, Luis – “Yar Adua” – Looks like Nigeria’s former No. 1 citizen.
GALLAS, William – “Mercenary” – Played for the Cashlings, the Arsenal and Twitch FC..Where does his bloody loyalty lie?
SENDEROS, Phillippe – “Send Errors” – We all knew how he was during his time with us.
LEHMANN, Jens – “Volatile Jens” – That was one crazy bloke.
MESSI, Lionel – “Little Wizard” – We all know what happens when he waves that wand of a left foot. Terror
MOURINHO, Jose – “Moaninho” – He talks too f*cking much!
There are many more Buttsniffaz that like sticking their pig-like snouts in Arsenal affairs. You won’t blame them;
We start every league season at 1st position……Arsenal….You’ll have to be Accrington Stanley to displace us in first place.
We are the only club not named after a city or some bloody place….We are “the Arsenal”
We have the largest collection of good looking players in one team….no football club can boast of more female football fans than us.
We are a traditional British club that is run by the most understanding Board Members on the planet.
We are the only club whose manager shares the same name with the club………Arsene-al
Enough said………….there’s still a blog to write today.
This was definitely for your viewing pleasure.
Expect January 2nd‘s blog post in a few hours.
This is definitely our year.
Sayonara
