Daily Archives: January 24, 2011

More on glassboned vP and AW the Alchemist keen to make a signing…..but he’s not a Center Back

Monday…….The day we all start afresh. The day we take all our football arguments to our various places of work. The day we watch the Premier League Review show to see the highlights of the games that took place last weekend.

I’m looking forward to watching the Premier League Review this evening. It’s not everyday you get to watch your star striker score his first hattrick for his club.

Robin “glassboned” van Persie is a flying dutch man at the moment. He’s in the kind of form that can burn a human if touched….Red Hot.

He’s the most complete all-round striker we have in our squad. 6 goals in hid last 3 games is an amazing return for a striker that was out for quite some time early on in the season.

Papers say that Thierry “Igwe” Henry’s presence played a major role in glassboned vP’s recent goal witch hunt. That’s their problem. Igwe should visit the Emirates more often. Igwe should also make sure that he comes when the BarcAliens come with the “invasion plans” in February. Besides the BarcAliens took him away from us and sent him to Energy Drink FC in the States.

As blistering as glassboned vP’s form may be, the demons of injury always creep in when he’s on fire. In the 2006/07 season, Gary “Devil” Neville broke his metatarsal after he fired the shot that drew us level late on against the Red Hell Owners. Igwe scored the header that gave us all 3 points. That injury ended glassboned vP’s season. He was still our highest goal scorer with 13 goals. After having his best season where he bagged 20 goals in the 2008/09 season, glassboned vP started the 2009/10 campaign with 7 goals in 8 starts. But while playing in a meaningless friendly against the Ities, a mafia looking capo made his ankle “swim with the fishes” for 5 months.

With the game against the BarcAliens somewhere in the horizon, it’s really important that we ensure that glassboned vP stays fit because we’ll need all our “resources” if we are to stand a chance against the BarcAliens.

Kudos to glassboned vP for bringing himself to the spotlight for all the right reasons. Let’s hope that he can maintain this form and stay fit.

AW the Alchemist has told the media Vultures that will “try as hard as he can” to sign Alex “Chambered Ox” Oxlade-Chamberlain.

AW the Alchemist admitted that he was willing to fight off other clubs to seal a deal.

He says,“We will try now. We need an agreement with Southampton, we need an agreement with the player and we are not the only ones on the case. But we will try as hard as we can as I like him as a player.”

There you have it. Another exceptional talent that will single handedly win the quad for us at 2020. You won’t blame the Chambered Ox. He watches TV well. Which other manager can hone young talent from lead form to shiny gold. AW the Alchemist.

Even if we are “fighting” with other clubs. It’s quite obvious that he will end up wearing the Red and White. Aaron “Rambo” Ramsey faced the same decision in 2008. He joined us instead of the Red Hell Owners and was molded in Cesc “El Capitan” Fabregas’ form. He was making steady progress in his fledgling career before that wankhammer Shawy broke his leg in two places. Thank goodness that he’s raring to go again after 9 months out.

Another player that is undergoing alchemy is Jack “Whizkhid” Wilshere. Unlike Rambo, Whizkhid is a player we can call our own because he has been here since he started breast feeding and learning how to work on the pitch. Whizkhid has gone above NwaSamba Denilson and Abou “Diabytes” Diaby to become Alex “Sabinus” Song’s partner. Their chemistry is unbelievable.

Whizkhid will definitely be on that plane to Ukraine and Poland next year in the European Championships. As much as i hate the FA, any other team can win the Championship apart from the BarcAlien Capital Territory or Spain as those on Earth call it. England falls among “any other team”.

In 2012, Whizkhid will be 20 years old, a few kg heavier and by God’s grace a few inches taller.

Our “soon-to-be” signing, the Chambered Ox was born on the 15th of August, 1993. He has notched up 23 appearances for Holy Disciples FC so far. He made his debut on the 2nd of March, 2010 at the milky age of 16 years 199 days coming off from the bench in a 5–0 victory over Huddersfield Town. This made him the club’s second youngest ever appearance maker behind Theo “Wal Kuint” Walcott.

So there you have it. Another starlet who will give him more headaches in the midfield position.

Concerning our defense, AW the Alchemist said that he’s open minded and will take a “chance” when gotten. He also said that he is not “desperate” because he has Thomas “Verminator” Vermaelen. He ended it up by saying that Sebastien “Squisha” Squillaci is just a week away from action and Sabinus can be deployed as a center back if the situation becomes critical.

Summarizing everything up, it’s pretty obvious that the chances of signing a center back are slim to none. He tends to forget that Johan Djourou’s nickname is “Injourou”. One thigh strain from him and we are bare naked in midfield because there’s no natural replacement for Sabinus. NwaSamba is not ready to step up yet. His performances have not been convincing enough.

More of the Carling Spoon semis against Jewelry’s Tractor Army in tomorrow’s post.

A true gooner posted this on Twitter.

“@_bdon_: Still no CB Arsene? Why does he leave it to the last minute in every transfer window. Expect another panic buy or worse, nothing at all”

AW the Alchemist, our patience is wearing off.

But as always….in Arsene we trust

Don’t forget to watch the Premier League Review show, i certainly won’t.