Monthly Archives: February 2011

Arsenal 1 Birmingham 2: Still trophuckingless


How to start…….

Ice cold Guinness…check, cigarettes…..I don’t smoke, food….no appetite, BlackBerry battery….full.

Arsenal had the chance to end their barren run without a trophy after 6 years of asking.

There was so much talk about the newly found desire and hunger within the squad to win together. The performances of the players this season has shown that they are really one tight impregnable unit.

AW the Alchemist assembled 11 players that he felt were up to the challenge of bring the first trophy to our cobweb stricken cabinet.

The man between the sticks has been outstanding from the day he won his place in the squad to his last game against that rugby outfit. He picked the wrong game to have his worst outing as an Arsenal goalie. The Wembley showpiece itself.

The fullbacks were very agile and coordinated. They balanced their attacking play and defensive positioning well.

The centre backs have played together for a very long while so they had built a strong telepathy with each other.

The holding midfielders were in 2 different realms yesterday. The younger European was faultless, tenacious, industrious and imperious in midfield while the older African showed signs of fatigue.

The attacking midfielder behind the front three was ubiquitous and showed his class when he was called upon.

The wingers were as sleek as grease. They created lots of scoring chances even though one of the wingers was practicing target practice.

The lone striker scored a spectacular goal but got crocked in the process.

The lineup I predicted in yesterday’s post had a 90.9% match with the team that played yesterday. The only significant change was the introduction of TR7 instead of B52. TR7 played behind the attacking triumvirate, while Nasri was deployed on the right hand side.

Birmingham kicked off the 2011 Carling Spoon final on a sunny evening at the magnificent 90,000 seater Wembley stadium.

Nasri was blocked off when he was sent through but the ref had other ideas. The major talking point of the first half came minutes after Nasri’s infringement. Birmingham has a striker that’s as tall as Jack’s beanstalk. He slipped in a nice through ball for that old chap that got a ban for all eternity when he stamped Sagna. Bowyer was hacked down by Szczesny in the box. If it was our card happy penalty giving ref Phil Dowd, Szszsz would have joined the list of Arsenal keepers that got sent off in a final match. Manuel Almunia’s first task would’ve been to stand on the line for a spot kick.

To my surprise and the 90,000 seated in Wembley, the ref sounded his whistle for an offside. Replays showed that the old bloke was onside. So much for the consistency of referees and their assistants.

rVp tried his luck from a tight angle but his shot flew over. With the kind of goal scoring form rVp is in, he’ll probably try a shot from the centre circle if given half a chance.

The goal scoring opportunity fell to AA23 but his shot was blocked by Foster. This was the 1st of a million saves Foster made in the game. He was definitely the MoTM for the Blues.

Nasri showed some deft touches on the right hand side then tried his luck with a shot from an acute angle. It went high and wide though. With such exquisite play, the ball deserved to be at the back of the net.

Gunner reject Seb Larsson swung one in with the beanpole Zigic his intended target but Szszsz was up to the challenge.

In the first 20 minutes or so, Birmingham absorbed our pressure and played wit confidence. They got the lead when Roger Johnson headed a corner goalwards. Szczesny came out for the ball but he was beaten to it by that beanpole Zigic.

Arsenal 0 Birmingham 1: the red coloured section of Wembley quiet.

We responded well to launch an attack that almost led to a goal. Sagna whipped in a cross that was headed by rVp. The ball missed by a lick of paint.

Our World would have gotten into topsy-turvy when Birmingham had the chance to go 2 up. Zigic’s poor shot ensured that the scores stayed “respectable”.

Our equalizer came in grand style. Jack Wilshere cracked the bar with a sumptuous volley with Foster well beaten. AA23 picked up the ball and made space for a teasing cross from the right which rVp expertly hooked into the far corner of the net. You tend to wonder if our flying Dutch man would ever stop scoring goals. Everything he touches in the opposition box turns to gold…….goals. Our very own Midas

Nasri had a shot that was saved by the usually eccentric Ben Foster.

At half time, we were tied at 1-1.

rVp ran to the touchline to create a delightful through ball to Sagna. The Frenchie looked up once and saw TR7 lurking around the corner. Sagna drilled a perfectly weighted ball to TR7 but he lashed at the ball with low accuracy. A good chance gone begging.

Nasri released a rifle of a shot at Foster’s goal. At least he used his boot to unleash the shot unlike Cashley Cuntly Cole who brought his rifle to Chelsea’s training camp and shot at an intern working there.

You can check out the piece of info by clicking this link

We were playing end to end stuff. Birmingham employed traditional route 1 tactics with Zigic as the sole beneficiary. Gunner reject Seb Larsson launched a long ball into our danger zone but Kosclielny headed it out for a corner

One Chilean bloke made mince meat of Song on the right hand side but his cross was easy pickings for Szszsz

TR7 fired a shot at some bloke. It made him go flat on his blue arse.

At some point, it became obvious that rVp was struggling with an injury so he was substituted for our Carling Spoon president B52

Nasri sent in a free kick from the right hand side. Song headed wide.

Nasri had 2 more good efforts that were saved by Foster. B52 created an opening for himself on the left hand side but Foster was equal to that task. With TR7 rushing in for a rebound, Foster quickly smothered the ball on the second attempt.

Chamakh came on for AA23. He worked hard to win the ball on the left hand side that sent a low cross into the 6-yard box, TR7 wanted to attempt to attempt a flick but Foster quickly charged the ball.

Nasri had another attempt on goal but Foster was a very thick thorn in the gunner rosy bush.

TR7 had a chance to shoot but he chose to feed Chamakh. Chamakh had no idea of the pass so it turned out to be a wasted opportunity. Any other advanced midfield player in that position would’ve taken a shot but TR7 went for a pass. I really miss the Little Mozart of Borussia Dortmund. The player usually shoots 4 balls when he receives 5 passes. The present day Rosicky will pass again 4 times if he receives 5 passes, the only shot will be way off target.

In the 89th minute, the unthinkable happened. Describing such an event can give one nightmares.

I’ll put it the way BBC Sport analyzed it.

“What a mess, but Birmingham won’t care. There is no danger when Nikola Zigic flicks on Ben Foster’s hoisted free-kick but Laurent Koscielny and Wojciech Szczesny get in a muddle and the Gunners keeper can only push it into the path of Obafemi Martins, who gratefully slots home and celebrates with a trademark somersault”

I’m a very big fan of Wojciech Szczesny. I even follow him on Twitter @53Szczesny53. As good as his footballing ability may be, Szszsz doesn’t communicate with his defenders some times. I can remember a game that Koscielny cleared the ball from his hands. All he had to do was shout,”Get the fuck off Kos, I’ve gat this” and we would have been playing extra time. At the rate at which we attacked Birmingham, a goal was imminent but Szszsz gave them the Carling Spoon trophy with that error but as a young goalie, I believe he’ll learn from this horrible experience.

In football, you win games with a moment of sheer magic or a moment of utter madness. Birmingham didn’t win the Carling Spoon, Arsenal lost it.

Szszsz (5.0) put up his worst Arsenal performance ever. He missed out on the 1st goal and played a major role in the second. Sagna (6.6) worked his socks off on the right hand side. Clichy (6.6) did the same on the left. Djourou (6.7) spent much time on air contending with Zigic. Koscielny (5.3) should have left the ball for his goalie. The outcome might have been different. Wilshere (8.5) was having a stormer in midfield. The bar denied him a great goal. Song (6.2) was really tired. It’s high time he takes a week or two off. TR7 (6.6) threatened a bit and showed good movement. Nasri (7.0) put up a target practice challenge with Foster. AA23 (7.3) gave an assist. I feel that it was a wrong move removing him from the pitch. We lost our “mojo” after that. rVp (7.8) added another collector’s item to his never ending list of amazing rVp goals. B52 (6.4) had only 1 shot that was saved. Chamakh (6.3) didn’t do to much.

I wrote that you can never get addicted to smoking unless you’ve tasted your first cigarette.

These players were given Carling Spoon weed. You can’t really get addicted to that isch. At least Szczesny and Koscielny showed us that when you smoke weed, you get high beyond your understanding even if you feel you’re in control. Kos and Szszsz thought they were in control.

So we’re still trophuckingless.

Thanks a lot Ben.

I’m sure you’ll concede 10 goals in your next outing.

Time to continue with my ice cold Guinness.

Besides its my time, its Guinness time.


Arsenal v Birmingham: Time to bring on the rain to end the drought

This is the first time I’m writing a post when a title is up for grabs. It’s a feeling that every blogger would want to get.

Arsenal started their Carling Spoon campaign with a convincing 4-1 win against Twitchy’s Twitch FC. Our last Carling Spoon encounter with Twitch FC didn’t bring fond memories. We were whooped by 5 goals to 1 thereby ending their barren spell against us. A 4th round encounter against Newcastle saw us emerge as 4-nil winners. A hilarious own goal, 2 well taken goals from Walcott and a wonder strike from Wald Bezt Bendtner did the magic. The 1/4 draw saw us play with Wigan. We were suffering from a patchy home form but an own goal from Alcatraz and a slide in from Wald Bezt Bendtner took us to the semis.

Roy Keane was supposed to be the gaffer that would’ve guided Ipswich to the semis against us but he got his ass fired. After a 2-legged affair with the Tractor boys, we booked our Wembley ticket.

Arsenal go into today’s final match knowing that they’ll be without Fabregas and Walcott.

AW the Alchemist was disappointed that El Capitan wouldn’t lead his troops today.

He says,”if he played this match, he could damage his participation in the other targets we have”.

He went on to say that playing El Capitan might aggravate his hammy injury and he could be out for all eternity. The squad is more than capable to make up for El Capitan’s absence so I believe that El Capitan should sit his arse tight and enjoy the game.

Fabregas will definitely be disappointed that he won’t lead Arsenal in a final match for the first time since taking over the arm band in November 2008.

He says,”the boss is right and the most important thing is that I get fit and help Arsenal for the rest of the season”

A loyal servant whose eyes are focused on the events that will come up in from now till May.

There’s an emerging tale that the players have told AW the Alchemist if they win the game El Capitan would be the man to lift the trophy. This shows that Arsenal FC is one big happy family with AW the Alchemist as the father and El Capitan as the first born son even if he’s 23.

Sagna says that we are not scared anymore in big games. He has played a major role in the club’s successes this season. He has even added goals to his game.

AW the Alchemist has been criticized over the years for honing young talent instead of shipping in “experienced” and “made” footballers. Today’s win will vindicate our faithful manager. Arsenal FC can boast of being financially stable even if we were on a barren spell for almost 6 years. The major reason why Arsenal hasn’t won anything is that there have been injuries to key players when their “experience” was needed to see us through. Things have been a lot different this season because of the sufficient depth in the squad.

Today’s opponents have an appalling record against us. We beat them home and away this season and we have a better squad on paper.

For the 11 men that will put their names in our record books as the first set of players that brought a trophy to our cobweb stricken cabinet, I expect Wojciech Szczesny to be the man between the sticks. Since his inception to our team, he has steadied the defensive ship at the young age of 20.

Even if Gibbsy has been the left back of the Carling Spoon, Clichy will get the nod in today’s game. Sagna will continue at right back.

Djourcielny will continue in the heart of our defense. The holding roles should go to the Whizkhid and our African Blondie.

Super Snoody Nasri will assume the Mr. Creativity role behind the front three.

Carling Spoon president Bendtner will take the right wing, AA23 will take the left while rVp will lead the line and his men tomorrow. It will also be the first time he’ll lead the side in a final match.

The lineup should be

Wald Bezt B52-rVp-AA23

I’ve written this quote a million and one times before but I’ll write it again

“Until you’ve tasted your first cigarette, you can never become addicted to smoking”

A win against Birmingham will kickstart our season for the achievement of greater things ahead.

I’ll consider Arsenal as Capua’s Spartacus, who brought the long awaited downpour after he decapitated Theokeles the two-handed swordman.

Wembley has been tagged as our gladiatorial ground, Arsenal it’s time to bring on the rain to end the drought.


“O nas nas, what’s his name” signs a new deal and Rambo remembered.

I’m not going to apologize for the lateness of today’s post. I was doing what men my age do when they aren’t watching soccer. Trust me, I’m not telling.

Aaron Ramsey was born on boxing day, 1990. He broke into the Cardiff setup in the 2005/06 season before AW the Alchemist acquired his services in 2008. He scored on his Champions League debut in the 5-2 victory against Fenerbahce. He found his footing in the 2009/10 season.

February 27, 2010 was a horrible day for gooners worldwide. This was the same month that Eduardo suffered that horrific ankle injury in St. Andrews. We visited the dreaded Britannia Stadium for an away league encounter against the Rugby outfit Stoke City. Rory “Springhands” Delap launched his trademark missiles to our box. After a goalmouth scramble, a bloke called Puke scored the opener. Bendtner equalized with a brilliant header. Vermaelen and Fabregas settled our nerves in dying moments of the game. Every game in football is remembered for one moment. It can be a moment of magic, madness, elation or deep sorrow.

You can talk of magic if you remember Arsenal vs Porto in the 2009/10 season. I still don’t understand what Nasri did with those able-bodied defenders. The magic trick probably worked on me watching it from my TV. You talk of madness if you remember Man Utd vs Arsenal in the 2003/04 season. After Ruud Boy slammed the bar with his penalty kick the ref ended the game. Our players went berserk and an assault on Ruud Boy followed. I miss that crazy ass lot. You talk of elation if you remember Arsenal vs Barcelona this season. I can’t remember the last time those Aliens lost a game after scoring first.

The deep sorrow moment took place a year ago in the Britannia Stadium. Just as French fans will never forget the name “Materazzi”, the name “Ryan Shawcross” will be in our minds for a long time. Just like Dan Smith and Martin Taylor, the Rugby player snapped Ramsey’s tibula and fibia with a clumsy tackle. Rambo’s legs was hanging on his socks. His countryman Glenn Whelan held his hands till Colin Lewin and the team of physios took him to the hospital for further treatment.

It’s good to see that Ramsey is getting back to his best and with Arsenal involved in many fixtures due to the fact that they are in every playable competition football has to offer, a return might be on the cards for young Rambo.

Arsenal’s hot snood wearing shot Samir Nasri has agreed a bumper new deal with Arsenal that will ward of any potential suitors who may have been hoping to lure the midfielder away from the Emirates this summer.

It has been reported that El Rufai has reportedly struck a deal with the Gunners that will be worth at least £26 million – that’s more than £100,000 a week.

This is amazing news. We knew what happened to the Flaminal in the 2007/08 season. A player of his quality was sold to Milan for relatively nothing. This was because a new deal wasn’t offered on time.

First Theo Walcott was ruled out of the showpiece match at Wembley and then skipper Cesc Fabregas swiftly followed suit after a bruising encounter with Stoke in midweek.

This contract will spur Nasri in tomorrow’s game.

The Carling Cup final preview comes up in tomorrow’s post.

Till then let’s all be happy for “o Nas Nas, what’s his name”.

Samir Ben-Said Nasri

Our very own Zizou