Daily Archives: February 1, 2011

Everton visit the Emirates and Transfer madness over

February 1. The 1st day of the 2nd month of the year. The day the winter transfer window closes for good. I’ve always believed that “big” players don’t leave in January. I swallowed my words yesterday night.

Arsenal’s transfer activity involved loan deals away from the Emirates with many of our younglings leaving Neil Banfield’s reserves to experience a taste of real competitive football. The most notable name in the list of our younglings is our chipper/lobber-in-chief Carlos Alberto Garrido Vela.

Fulham snatched up Short Wrightphillips and that blonde Icelandic bicycle kick scoring striking playmaker. Sunderland’s fat Reid joined the adventurous Blackpool on loan. The Fruities play with a very fast tempo, that chubby bloke will have to do a lot of running. Spit-happy mohawk wearing winger Alhaji Diouf was offloaded to Rangers. Scots, get ready for some acid spit by Mortal Kombat’s Premier League “Reptile”.

So many other transfers took place yesterday night. They are so many that an individual can open up a “transfer blog” for them.

The biggest spenders this winter were two of our title challenging rivals. Count Dalglish’s Vampires and the Cashlings.

I call Chelsea FC the “Cashlings” because their oil rich U.S.S.R. dictator ran into hiding when the Arab boys came to town. The dictator has hired 6 managers since taking over in 2003. 4 were sacked, 1 resigned honourably. Don’t get it twisted, the “one” that resigned honourably was Guus Guus not the Special Moaning One.

The dictator surprised everyone by giving Carlo the Cannibal a £71m transfer treasure chest. AW the Alchemist would have used such an amount to……..make our “green” account £71m richer. Carlo chose to spend the loot on just 2 players. David Luiz from Benfica and El Nino from Count Dalglish’s Vampires. I haven’t seen the young Portuguese bloke play much but all I can say is that he’s good in Football Manager ™. El Noni on the other hand is a machine that produces goals without help from others. His lethal goal scoring record speaks for itself. 82 league goals in 215 appearances for Atletico over a period of 6 years, 65 league goals in 102 appearances for Count Dalglish’s Vampires in 4 years.

Count Dalglish’s Vampires used the £50m they acquired from the sale of El Nino to buy World Cup handball goal saving hero Suarez and WWE’s Edge. Suarez for £23m was a good gamble but Carroll for £35m is just unbelievable. He cost that much because he’s English.

Back to the issues that are Red and White related, Everton come to town tonight. We are still 5 points behind the Red Hell Owners so there’s no room for error. I’ll settle for 3 valuable points. They host the Villans but I feel an upset might on the cards. With the Villans on good form and with the Bent One on the squad let’s hope they can step up to the challenge.

Szszsz will return back in goal because Lukasz “Flyin Fabbi” Fabianski hasn’t still recovered from that shoulder problem. Sagna has been declared fit so he’ll come back to his “right”-ful place. Clichy will also replace Gibbs. I hope the youngster doesn’t dwell on that Huddersfield game. The Djourcienly combo continues at the heart of the defense because the Squisha is suspended. The holding midfield roles will go to the Whizkhid and Alex Song. El Capitan will play in his favourite role.

It’s obvious that rVp will spearhead the attack, but I wonder who will be on both sides of attack. Since Walcott was rested against Huddersfield he may be deployed on the right wing.

With El Rufai out, it’s time for Andrei “Hotty” Arshavin to step up his game and bring back his Leningrad FC form. He should get the nod ahead of Nicklas “Wald Bezt” Bendtner.

My expected lineup should be

Whizkhid-El Capitan-Song

Thank goodness the transfer window is over. The next signing we might have seen would have been @enigma106 to Tortoise FC.

Enjoy the game wherever you are.