Daily Archives: March 25, 2011

Rambo wants to fight back, Chambered Ox linked again and B52’s injury not as bad as we feared

Friday has come upon us again even if we know that there’ll be no Arsenal match tomorrow. It’s really amazing how time flies. Yesterday we were watching the World Cup; today we have reached the home stretch in the Barclay’s Premier League. As pre-season favourites, Man Utd has lived up to the media Vulture hype and is currently at the summit of mount Premiership. Another team that was supposed to be at the top is Chelsea FC or the Cashlngs as I prefer to call them. Let’s not forget that oil rich lot called Man City.

With 9 games to go, Man Utd is 1st with 63 points. The team next to them has no blue pigment in their jersey as expected by the media Vultures in August. It’s Arsenal FC.

I want to apologize for not writing any blog post yesterday. I also want to apologize to @davicky1 for doubting him when he informed us in Team Goonerdaily that B52 was injured.

B52 injured his ankle in training with his national team in Scandinavia. The major positive is that his ankle wasn’t destroyed by the pitch and he might be in line to feature for the Danes against Norway. If he’s good enough to play for Denmark, he’ll be good enough to play for the Arsenal on the 2nd of April when we take on Blackburn.

Our players have this knack for getting injured when they play for their national teams. rVp has been the chief suspect in recent times. Walcott suffered a nasty ankle injury when England played Montenegro on the 12th of October. Vermaelen also suffered that Achilles injury when he represented Belgium in September.  Let’s just hope that our key players return unscathed because we can’t afford more injuries.

The first round of matches take place today and tomorrow so let’s keep our fingers crossed.

 

Chiellini........you Wankhammer

Still sticking to rVp, our flying Dutch man has taken time out to talk to the media Vultures about some teams.

rVp launched his first attack on the BarcAliens.

He says, “Barcelona players tend to nag about everything that happens on the pitch. I was a bit disappointed with that”.

rVp must be disappointed about the BarcAliens but he has to understand that these Aliens talk too much because their exploits on the pitch “speak” for them most times. rVp should not forget that he was in Nou Camp for almost an hour but he didn’t shoot any ball at Victor V’s goal. He was part of the Arsenal team that made history in the Champions League for all the wrong reasons.

I wish some Barcelona players can be gagged. The biggest metal gag should be put on Xavi’s mouth.

rVp also launched another verbal attack on the blue section of the top 4, Man City and the Cashlings. Chelsea burnt £71m on two players. FT9 and that Puyol hair wannabe Luiz. The Brazilian bloke has done well since moving from Benfica while Torres has been utter shite. May be Drogba went to the Ivory Coast for another Shevchenko and Pizzaro like formula. Just kidding

The only scary thing about Luiz was that after scoring that first goal against Man City, some Chelsea fans on my BlackBerry Messenger had plans for his arse. You can see it on the picture below

 

Gay Mothaskunkers

Man City has spent over £∞ in the past 3 years and have won………..

Chelsea on the other won the double last season but hasn’t really hit top gear this season like we fucking care. They are in third place and we intend to make them stay that way.

Aaron Ramsey has been given the honour by Gary Speed to captain the Welsh national team in the European Championship qualifier against England tomorrow. That will definitely be a boost for the young lad. Captaining his national team at 20 when oafs like Bellamy and the World’s best left footed Chimpanzee are still around is definitely an amazing feat.

Ramsey says that he’s going to fight to win his place back in the Arsenal squad.  We all know that the youngling was progressing massively before dear ol’ Shawcross broke his leg in two fucking places. Some people feel that Ramsey’s injury paved the way for Wilshere but they are clearly mistaken. Jack Wilshere is where he is right now because of one man. AW the Alchemist.

There’s this adage I learnt when I watched a Nollywood movie a few years back. “What the old man sees when he is sitting on a chair, the young man standing on a palm tree can never see it”.

When Wilshere was loaned to Bolton last season, he was extremely impressive. MadMan Coyle came around again to kiss AW the Alchemist’s arse for Wilshere’s services but AW the Alchemist declined his offer. AW the Alchemist cleared our doubt when Wilshere was introduced in the first team when we played Liverpool in Anfield Transylvania. We all know how indispensable Wilshere is to us now.

I also thought that Ramsey would be introduced in our squad next season but AW the Alchemist knew better. Even after loan spells at Nottingham Forest and Cardiff, I would prefer to see Ramsey and Wilshere against Blackburn because it seems as if Song has applied to go to the same school with Thomas Vermaelen. I would prefer our players to be “Ramseyd” instead of being Diabyfied or Denilsonated. Denilson’s winning accuracy this season with Arsenal is at 33%, I wouldn’t want to see hm start any other game for us. If we are 4-0 up, he can come on as a substitute for Ramsey or Wilshere. At least if he wants to be a fully fledged cock we wouldn’t give a ram’s large scrotal sac.

England’s U-21 manager Stuart Pearce had told the media Vultures that Jack Wilshere will take part in the European Under-21 Championship that will take place in Viking land.

Wilshere is a spirited young lad that has the will of a tiger and the stamina of an ox. I just hope that he won’t be “burnt out” at the start of next season.

Speaking of Ox, we have been with the Chambered Ox again. This time we are fighting for his signature with our bitter rivals Twitch FC. For AW the Alchemist to be very keen in acquiring this lad’s services, he must be something. I just hope that we won’t be outmatched when Southampton besides to tell both sides to bring out their cheque books. You know how we missed out on Smalling. He has become “something” in Man Utd. He definitely would have given us a better job than Squillaci.

Vermaelen says that the “work” he has done off the pitch will make him become a better defender when he comes back. That’s after eternity I guess, if there’s a date for that. I miss that Belgian Verminator though. I guess we’ll have to wait till next season.

Chuck Bass is at it again. He sent a link to my email this morning. You won’t believe what you’ll read but Chelsea’s Petr Cech said that Arsenal deemed him not good enough . Unfuckinbeleivable.

I also have another interesting article about our dear ol’ SpanEnglish goalie Almunia. Just click on his lovely name. I know you would want to.

I’ll end today’s post with a tweet from another great gooner @jaybdon.

He tweeted what AW the Alchemist said.

“A football team is like a beautiful woman. When you do not tell her, she forgets she is beautiful”.

AW the Alchemist, you old wily sly fox.

In Arsene we trust.

Sayonara.