Daily Archives: March 27, 2011

A tale of Mad Jens, the Whizkhid and others

My Sunday kicked off on a very horrible note with 3 fingers on my left hand getting badly bruised by a fan in my sister’s house but the fact that you can read this post shows that God was merciful enough to let my fingers remain on my hand. The fan was really fast. Perhaps it’s more or less a tale for the kids.

I’m pretty sure that the technician that set up that fan must probably be a short motherskunker because at 6’ 2” my fingers are not supposed to be cut by a ceiling fan. It’s a ceiling fan for fuck’s sake. Thank Heavens all the same.

I’ll start with Sunday’s international round up. Brazil and Scotland graced our home ground with their samba and William Wallace like football respectively. Santos wonderkid Neymar scored a brace. I guess that’s going to increase his bill a bit because we know that the Cashlings are hot on his trail.

There was a tweet I read about Neymar.

“@VikramGooner: Neymar is the 133rd player that has been labeled as the “future Pele”

In one word….hilarious. I didn’t even know that there were 132 other players that were labeled as the next Pele but I’m pretty sure that Denilson won’t be in that league. He’s a midfielder by the way.

Wald Bezt B52 played all 90 minutes for Denmark in the 1-1 draw against Norway. I guess all that talk about his ankle injury has been quelled. Farmer Eboue planted some crops with the Drog Man and the other Ivorians before playing Benin Republic. They actually played the home match in Accra because of the political unrest going on in their homeland. We wouldn’t want to see another case of African gunmen shooting at a bus again after witnessing that disgraceful event in January 2010 that forced players like Emmanuel Greedybayor to quit the international scene.

Mad Jens joined us from Dortmund in 2004. He was between the sticks when we went on that unbeaten campaign in the same year. He also excelled for us in our continental tournaments in 2006 but wasn’t too convincing in the league. I can still remember that soft goal he conceded against Wigan on the final day of that season from a free kick. The bloke’s name was Thompson or so. Henry was the star of the show with his brilliant hattrick.

King Henry kissing the turf after scoring the final hattrick in Highbury

5 years on, Mad Jens told the media Vultures that our defense was the reason he was sent off in Paris. He said that he scythed Eto’o down outside his box because he wasn’t used to conceding in the Champions League.

Red card on a final.......ain't that a biatch

I don’t think our defense was at fault for his red card. Ronaldinho was in the form of his life that year. That through pass was like hot knife through butter although I was wishing that the ref allowed Giuly the Imp’s effort to stand. That’s old news by the way. We all know how Lehmann’s Arsenal career went after that year.

The media Vultures say that Mad Jens is in line for a reserve game ahead of Arsenal’s game against Blackburn. Even if I don’t watch Reserve League football, I would love to see how Lehmann would fare. I know that there’s a major difference between Reserve football and Premier League football but I feel that the main target here is to give the 41-year old some match fitness.

John Lukic says, “Picking Jens for a Premier League game would be a massive RISK. Imagine a goalie who has been sidelined for 8 months with an injury, would you pick him after a comeback from reserves”

I agree with Mr. Lukic to an extent but we have to remember that Almunia is a walking time bomb. He has done the cock-up double against West Brom. Let’s remember that his best performance this season was in Ewood Park in August so I hope that he does a better double against them. I believe that AW the Alchemist will give him one more chance to prove to the World that he’s not a cuntbutler but another calamitous performance will make everyone jump to the Lehmann bandwagon.

We are 5 points behind Man Utd with only 9 games so there’s no more room for fucking error. Let’s hope that the mid-April target for Szczesny becomes a reality. At least we have Blackburn, Blackpool and Liverpool. That’s what I said about West Brom.

England’s boss had some sweet words for the Whizkhid. His formation against Wales was different from the conventional 4-4-2 we see England play in recent years. He played 4-3-3 with the rich Roo-Thug and Young on the wings while the midfield triumvirate was Parker, Lampback and our Whizkhid. It was still enough to get maximum points against Ramsey’s army.

He says, “It’s a normal performance for him but it is incredible how much he has improved in a short space of time. The performance of this player this season has been incredible. He plays like a player who is 28 or 29 years old 45 caps. I hope there is more to come. A good player is always improving”

I’ve run out of superlatives for Jack Wilshere. He has been a phenom for us this season. At the age of 19 he has already cemented his place in the squad for years to come. Ramsey knows the only way to shrug off the Whizkhid challenge is to be extremely outstanding when he’s asked to do his job on the pitch.

I would really love to see Wilshere and Ramsey play together in that holding role while a player like Nasri or TR7 will be ahead of them. The Arsenal engine room will definitely run at optimum performance. We all know that Song will have an edge above the 2 young lads in terms of selection because it’s his natural position but AW the Alchemist has the final say.

Speaking of AW the Alchemist, the media Vultures say that he has a few words for Wilshere due to some off field events that took place. It’s worth a read.

So after the 1st full round of international matches, no Arsenal player’s fingers have been cut by ceiling fans, heads smashed and balls busted. Let’s keep our fingers crossed for the games that take place on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Sorry about the lateness of today’s post.

My fingers had to pass a late fitness test.

Sayonara