Monthly Archives: March 2011

Does Arsenal lack leaders?

If you have been a reader of Gooner Daily since its inception in November 2010, you would notice that @enigma106 is a fervent lover of statistics. This is my 100th post published and it will definitely go down as one of my personal favourites. I’ll also use this opportunity to send a shout out to you, my esteemed readers.

Thanks a zillion. 🙂

Yesterday saw the first set of international games take place. All the Arsenal players involved didn’t have their limbs broken, balls smashed or hamstrings tweaked and twanged.

Nasri captained Les Bleus for the first time while fucktards like Monsieur Tuck-in Evra where around. Everybody expected a rout but we the neutrals where disappointed. Ribery, Malouda and Evra were very peripheral like I gave a fledgling fuck. Sagna did his thing on the right while Clichy enjoyed 90 minutes of good bench time with the remaining 6 Frenchies because like the game between Arsenal and Leyton Orient at Brisbane Road, the gaffer of the away side didn’t make any change. Nasri led by example by supplying an assist for the opening goal for the Frenchies. The best part of the assist was that it made Phillippe Mexes break his international goal scoring duck.

rVp wasn’t the leader of the Oranje that demolished Hungary away but he was very influential in the game. He gave an assist for Mr. Stamina and scored a goal himself to round up an amazing display. At least he went through the game unscathed. The Hungarians visit the Amsterdam ArenA on Tuesday so I hope that rVp’s tender ligaments and glass bones will still be intact when the ref blows his whistle at full time.

TR7 led his Czech team to planet Krypton to play that Alien lot known as Spain. We all know that the Spanish national side can be regarded as Aliens because their squad is infested with that BarcAlien lot from Catalunya. A blonde Czech bloke fired a sweet long range effort to put TR7’s army in pole position for a shock win but a late brace from the clinically profligate David son of Villa handed all 3 points to the SpanAliens.

Today, the English national team will be hosted by Wales in the magnificent Millennium stadium. I thought I also say that when I’m talking about Wembley. The captain of the Welsh national said a few words to the media Vultures.

He says, “Ever since I was a boy I wanted to become a professional footballer and to captain my country and this day has come and it’s a very special moment for me and my family. My mum and dad put in many miles and time to help me get where I am today so I’d like to thank them. I feel over the moon and honoured to be captain of my country at such a young age. It was a bit of a surprise but a very nice one. Hopefully now I can lead by example in the way I play. We know as a team what we’re capable of doing and we’re going to go into the game thinking that we can do something in this game and get a positive result”

Premier League legend and new Welsh manager Gary Speed had this to say, “I thought about what is best for the team going forward. I spoke to Aaron before making the decision and told him there were certain responsibilities and duties that would go with it, and to see if he was happy with it. I’m delighted and he was really happy. I made the decision because I thought it was best for the team and the future of the team”.

Some pundits and cuntholes alike were skeptical about the decision of Gary Speed to appoint 20-year old Ramsey as the national team skipper. They can feel free to fuck themselves for all I care. As they always say, “In a team, the manager’s say is FINAL”.

Even if England got the bragging rights against their neighbours, a lot of positives can be taken from the Arsenal point of view. Arsenal Whizkhid Jack Wilshere had a good run out. He gave 2 sumptuous through balls to The Bent One but the goal hungry predator wasn’t fast enough to reach the ball at both occasions. He also did a neat one-two with the rich Roo-Thug before passing the ball to the ex-girlfriend shagging captain who killed a bird with his proposed cross. He was substituted for Downing in the 81st minute.

Ramsey on the other hand put up a commanding performance for Wales. I feel that he had the same amount of passes with Wilshere, West Ham’s Spidey Peter Parker and the Lampback of NotreDame put together in the first half. He misplaced some passes though. That back heeled pass he gave the fastest British foul mouthed dwarf delighted the fans even if the attack led to nothing. In the second half, Ramsey sent a defense breaking through ball for the lone striker Steve Morrison but the striker wasn’t in the same wavelength with his captain. Ramsey then created a scoring opportunity for himself but his shot went over. He was faced with England’s captain Terry J. Instead of marking the young lad, Terry decided to show Ramsey his number without Ramsey asking him.

The record books have not been favorable towards the Welsh. In 99 games played against their British rivals, the Welsh have managed a meager 14 wins with the last being in 1984. England had won 64 games before today.

At the end of 90 minutes, England was the victor with 2 goals to the good. After missing out of Arsenal football for 9 months and Welsh national team football for 16 months, Captain Rambo put up a good performance for his country. I’ll probably as @Orbinho to give me the amount of passes Ramsey sprayed in the game because if the amount of passes Ramsey sprayed was equivalent to an insecticide, the insects present in the Millennium stadium would be dead. At least I didn’t write magnificent this time.

In the other parts of the World, AA23 captained Motherland Russia in the bore draw against Armenia.

At least he was their “leader”.

The Leaders

The picture above needs to be seen by pantomime villain Denilson Perreira Neves who said that Arsenal lacked leadership.

Andrei “AA23” Arshavin, Tomas “TR7” Rosicky, Thomas “Verminator” Vermaelen and Aaron “Rambo” Ramsey are currently the skippers of their national sides.

When Cassy Casillas, Junkie Puyol and gutter mouth Xavi decide to enter a portal to the spectral realm and stay there forever, El Capitan might be considered to be the Spanish capitan. If Laurent Blanc feels that Nasri did enough against Luxembourg to be his captain, he will make it “official”. Nasri should also remember that if he’s elected as the permanent captain of France, there’ll be a time when he’ll use his hands to provide an assist for his teammate in the 119th minute of that certain game. What’s the worst that could happen? A one match fucking ban while he gets his national hero status like Luis Suarez against Ghana.           I also forgot to write that Nasri can use his hand to stop the ball from entering the goal like the African Uruguayan heart breaker. rVp also looks like a player who might be in line for the Dutch leadership role in the not too distant future.

As my headline and the picture “say”

Does Arsenal lack leaders?

I think not.

Denilson, if you are not cool with it feel free to join the experienced Gilberto Silva in Panathinaikos. I won’t give a leprechaun’s pot of Gold.

If you don’t like the Greek effect, heed to my earlier advice and go to Arsenal di Sarandi, Arsenal Montevideo or Arsenal Kiev. I even heard that there’s an African club side called Arsenal Ghana.

Brazilians are regarded as football exports, be the first to grace the Gold coast called Ghana. You’ll probably be the highest paid and will be given the captain’s armband. That way you can be the leader J

All thanks to Tomasz for putting this picture in my BlackBerry Messenger group, Team Goonerdaily.

He was the inspiration behind my 1st blog post on the 26th of November.

He’s also the inspiration behind my 100th.

I sincerely hope he’ll be there when I publish my 1000th post.

To Tomasz

Or Bobby Chiagozie Agulanna as he’s known in the real World.

Sayonara

 

Rambo wants to fight back, Chambered Ox linked again and B52’s injury not as bad as we feared

Friday has come upon us again even if we know that there’ll be no Arsenal match tomorrow. It’s really amazing how time flies. Yesterday we were watching the World Cup; today we have reached the home stretch in the Barclay’s Premier League. As pre-season favourites, Man Utd has lived up to the media Vulture hype and is currently at the summit of mount Premiership. Another team that was supposed to be at the top is Chelsea FC or the Cashlngs as I prefer to call them. Let’s not forget that oil rich lot called Man City.

With 9 games to go, Man Utd is 1st with 63 points. The team next to them has no blue pigment in their jersey as expected by the media Vultures in August. It’s Arsenal FC.

I want to apologize for not writing any blog post yesterday. I also want to apologize to @davicky1 for doubting him when he informed us in Team Goonerdaily that B52 was injured.

B52 injured his ankle in training with his national team in Scandinavia. The major positive is that his ankle wasn’t destroyed by the pitch and he might be in line to feature for the Danes against Norway. If he’s good enough to play for Denmark, he’ll be good enough to play for the Arsenal on the 2nd of April when we take on Blackburn.

Our players have this knack for getting injured when they play for their national teams. rVp has been the chief suspect in recent times. Walcott suffered a nasty ankle injury when England played Montenegro on the 12th of October. Vermaelen also suffered that Achilles injury when he represented Belgium in September.  Let’s just hope that our key players return unscathed because we can’t afford more injuries.

The first round of matches take place today and tomorrow so let’s keep our fingers crossed.

 

Chiellini........you Wankhammer

Still sticking to rVp, our flying Dutch man has taken time out to talk to the media Vultures about some teams.

rVp launched his first attack on the BarcAliens.

He says, “Barcelona players tend to nag about everything that happens on the pitch. I was a bit disappointed with that”.

rVp must be disappointed about the BarcAliens but he has to understand that these Aliens talk too much because their exploits on the pitch “speak” for them most times. rVp should not forget that he was in Nou Camp for almost an hour but he didn’t shoot any ball at Victor V’s goal. He was part of the Arsenal team that made history in the Champions League for all the wrong reasons.

I wish some Barcelona players can be gagged. The biggest metal gag should be put on Xavi’s mouth.

rVp also launched another verbal attack on the blue section of the top 4, Man City and the Cashlings. Chelsea burnt £71m on two players. FT9 and that Puyol hair wannabe Luiz. The Brazilian bloke has done well since moving from Benfica while Torres has been utter shite. May be Drogba went to the Ivory Coast for another Shevchenko and Pizzaro like formula. Just kidding

The only scary thing about Luiz was that after scoring that first goal against Man City, some Chelsea fans on my BlackBerry Messenger had plans for his arse. You can see it on the picture below

 

Gay Mothaskunkers

Man City has spent over £∞ in the past 3 years and have won………..

Chelsea on the other won the double last season but hasn’t really hit top gear this season like we fucking care. They are in third place and we intend to make them stay that way.

Aaron Ramsey has been given the honour by Gary Speed to captain the Welsh national team in the European Championship qualifier against England tomorrow. That will definitely be a boost for the young lad. Captaining his national team at 20 when oafs like Bellamy and the World’s best left footed Chimpanzee are still around is definitely an amazing feat.

Ramsey says that he’s going to fight to win his place back in the Arsenal squad.  We all know that the youngling was progressing massively before dear ol’ Shawcross broke his leg in two fucking places. Some people feel that Ramsey’s injury paved the way for Wilshere but they are clearly mistaken. Jack Wilshere is where he is right now because of one man. AW the Alchemist.

There’s this adage I learnt when I watched a Nollywood movie a few years back. “What the old man sees when he is sitting on a chair, the young man standing on a palm tree can never see it”.

When Wilshere was loaned to Bolton last season, he was extremely impressive. MadMan Coyle came around again to kiss AW the Alchemist’s arse for Wilshere’s services but AW the Alchemist declined his offer. AW the Alchemist cleared our doubt when Wilshere was introduced in the first team when we played Liverpool in Anfield Transylvania. We all know how indispensable Wilshere is to us now.

I also thought that Ramsey would be introduced in our squad next season but AW the Alchemist knew better. Even after loan spells at Nottingham Forest and Cardiff, I would prefer to see Ramsey and Wilshere against Blackburn because it seems as if Song has applied to go to the same school with Thomas Vermaelen. I would prefer our players to be “Ramseyd” instead of being Diabyfied or Denilsonated. Denilson’s winning accuracy this season with Arsenal is at 33%, I wouldn’t want to see hm start any other game for us. If we are 4-0 up, he can come on as a substitute for Ramsey or Wilshere. At least if he wants to be a fully fledged cock we wouldn’t give a ram’s large scrotal sac.

England’s U-21 manager Stuart Pearce had told the media Vultures that Jack Wilshere will take part in the European Under-21 Championship that will take place in Viking land.

Wilshere is a spirited young lad that has the will of a tiger and the stamina of an ox. I just hope that he won’t be “burnt out” at the start of next season.

Speaking of Ox, we have been with the Chambered Ox again. This time we are fighting for his signature with our bitter rivals Twitch FC. For AW the Alchemist to be very keen in acquiring this lad’s services, he must be something. I just hope that we won’t be outmatched when Southampton besides to tell both sides to bring out their cheque books. You know how we missed out on Smalling. He has become “something” in Man Utd. He definitely would have given us a better job than Squillaci.

Vermaelen says that the “work” he has done off the pitch will make him become a better defender when he comes back. That’s after eternity I guess, if there’s a date for that. I miss that Belgian Verminator though. I guess we’ll have to wait till next season.

Chuck Bass is at it again. He sent a link to my email this morning. You won’t believe what you’ll read but Chelsea’s Petr Cech said that Arsenal deemed him not good enough . Unfuckinbeleivable.

I also have another interesting article about our dear ol’ SpanEnglish goalie Almunia. Just click on his lovely name. I know you would want to.

I’ll end today’s post with a tweet from another great gooner @jaybdon.

He tweeted what AW the Alchemist said.

“A football team is like a beautiful woman. When you do not tell her, she forgets she is beautiful”.

AW the Alchemist, you old wily sly fox.

In Arsene we trust.

Sayonara.

Good injury news and the goalies

When you love what you do and do what you love, it becomes a driving force within you. After having a quite stressful day, I didn’t have the energy to start typing with my lappy but something kept spurring to take that mighty step.

Let me stop boring you with my tales that go into one ear and go away from the other.

Let me start with the not so good news

Goal.com or @davicky1 gave me a piece of info concerning our Wald Bezt striker B52.

I’m just kidding. @davicky1 came across the info when he was surfing through www.goal.com. As a strong Arsenal fan faithful to the cause, he was even generous enough to “munch” it for us.

You can follow him on Twitter by clicking here. You can also send him a friend request on facebook by clicking here

Hmmm

The only baffling thing is that Bendtner was supposed to play against Norway and Slovakia when everybody is playing their own games. That’s this weekend and the Tuesday or Wednesday in the upper week. I hope it’s an error though because losing a player like B52 won’t be helpful to our cause.

At some point Denilson said that we could….will win the quad. After the fortnight of horror, all the gunners were playing a different tune. In recent weeks, Jack Wilshere has been the most vocal but flying Dutch man rVp has been the latest to come out of his shell to say that we can win the league.

Thanks Robin…we’ve heard it from the umpteenth time.

It’s always good to be optimistic but after what I saw against WBA I’m gearing myself up for one of those summers. Even if rVp scores 5 goals in a game, what’s the essence if Almunia concedes 5 or 6 in the Arsenal goal? With Fabianski or Szczesny between the sticks in the Hawthorns on Saturday, such a silly goal wouldn’t have been conceded. I know that Fabianski has had his fair share of criticism but he had matured into a better goalkeeper knowing fully that his place will be lost if he concedes any other silly goal. Since claiming the number 1 jersey against Partizan, Fabianski has kept 5 clean sheets with the most notable against Man City and Wolves. Fabianski was at fault to an extent when he jumped with Newcastle’s WWE Edge but he bounced back superbly when we played Wolves 2 days later.

Everybody pointed a finger at Fabianski with that Newcastle error but “everybody” also sang his praises after his performances against Wolves. He also did well when we visited Goodison Park. In the two back to back defeats against Twitch FC and Braga, he was blameless. He then put up consistent performances till he injured his shoulder in January.

Szczesny was handed the goalkeeping baton by his patriot. He started with his dreaded pink outfit against Leeds in the FA Cup. He has kept an astonishing 8 clean sheets for us this season.

Trust me; getting 8 clean sheets is a good feat when a keeper like Almunia has only kept 2. These clean sheets were against Blackpool and Braga. They were both on the end of a 6-0 spanking.

We all know that Saturn head Alves dislocated Szczesny’s finger with that shot but our goalie is still training with the lads. This time he’s working on his distribution.

When we played Man Utd in Old Strafford, his clearances weren’t far up the pitch. Since his target still stands at mid-April let’s keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best. We have Blackburn, Blackpool and Liverpool before mid-April. Let’s hope that Szczesny will make it in time to play our game in hand against Twitch FC in White Hart Lane. We all know what Almunia did in their turf last season.

Another name that brings smiles to our trophy laden faces is Johan Djourou. It seems that JD20 will still be part of our title challenge adventure this season. He has gone for an exploratory operation and will be out for 4 weeks. This means that he’ll be available for our final 3 games against those Rugby boys, A Villa and Fool-ham. There’ll definitely be a battle to make him eligible for our game of the season against Man Utd. Let’s also keep our fingers crossed on that one.

That’s a wrap for tonight.

I won’t apologize for the lateness of today’s post.

This is a weblog…some posts come in the morning, some in the afternoon and some at night.

I’m just kidding.

Sorry for the lateness of today’s post.

Sayonara