Daily Archives: April 1, 2011

Arsenal’s backbone returns….at least some part of it, AW the Alchemist talks, Daddy-to-be Wilshere and Twitter

Apologies for not writing any post yesterday. If you have noticed in my recent posts, my style of blogging has changed. In the days of old when Arthur Pendragon ruled Camelot, my blog posts were published through my BlackBerry device but I was denied certain features. When blogging with my BlackBerry, I can’t upload pictures with captions, add my gooner categories and gooner tags. I also can’t add links to words or sentences.

My BlackBerry still plays a key role in my blogging activities. It has the social networking application known as Twitter. I get a lot of Arsenal info from Twitter because it offers a wide range of Arsenal news, updates and links. For the benefit of the gooners on Twitter, feel free to click on the following names listed below to follow them.

You can follow the top Arsenal blogs like Arseblog, Ladyarse, Gunnerblog, Emirates View Point, YoungGunsBlog and Gunnersphere.

You can also follow Arsenal players on Twitter like Whizkhid, rVp, El Capitan, Rambo, Szszsz, Bac, Koscielny, the Squisha and JD20.

I’ll also recommend that you follow Arsenal_update and Orbinho

Finally, if you’re a fan of our African cult hero and favourite farmer, follow EboueFacts.

I’m happy to say that there’ll be no more international games till June. As expected, there were casualties but they are not as bad as everyone expected. I wrote in my previous post that I started watching the Netherlands-Hungary match in the second half. I also wrote that I saw Ruud boy van Net Destroyer instead of rVp. After doing some surfing, I’ve found out that rVp clashed with some Hungry Hungarian bloke in the first half. The Dutch FA said that he’s okay but I’m not a fan of the KNVB. When he had the Chiellini moment, the Dutch FA said that rVp will be out for weeks. Our glassboned striker kicked the ball after 5 months of consistent horse placenta rubbing. It’s also good to know that rVp has been declared fit to play Blackburn tomorrow. We know his amazing goal scoring record against the club. We also know Arsenal’s goal scoring record against the goalie with the scientific name Paulinus Robinsinus. The last time I checked, we had passed the 60-goal mark.

Paulinus Robinsinus doing what he does best against Arsenal.....conceding goals

Nicklas Bendtner’s ankle is still a small cause for concern after stepping on an aged land mine in the Cambodia training center in Scandinavia. The land mine was older than Gandalf so thank Heavens for that. Ramsey also has an issue with his groin doubt I think he’ll be fit enough to make the bench.

Let me give you a little biology lesson. The axial skeleton of a vertebrate that consists of an articulated series of vertebrae which extend from the neck to the tail and protect the spinal cord called also backbone.

The Arsenal backbone begins with the goalie then moves up to center backs, holding midfielders, attacking midfielder and the lone striker. The full backs and wingers are branches or ribs as the case may be.

Our goalie situation is quite precarious but we have to make do with the Devil we know than drafting that eccentric veteran back into the squad. Mad Jens showed his rustiness in Tuesday’s game against Wigan so we have to stick to the error prone Almunia. The major positive with the Almunia situation is that he’s not renowned for making back-to-back errors so let’s keep our fingers crossed. The only medal in his cabinet is the 2005 FA Cup so I’m sure that he’ll like to add to that collection by putting up better performances henceforth. He can help us hold the goalkeeping fort till Szczesny arrives at least.

We are also without our two best center backs the Verminator and JD20. Vermaelen has been out for all eternity while Djourou still stands a chance of playing for us next month. The Koscielny-Squisha French combo hasn’t yielded fruit for us this season but it would be unwise to bring in young Miquel into the equation. He got a red card as early as the 20th minute in Tuesday’s Reserve League game but I’m not pointing any fingers on that Bojan look alike.

Jack Wilshere has been phenomenal for us this season but has struggled a bit when playing alongside the Diabyfier and the Denilsonator. Denilson is out with a toe problem but Diaby is back. The most warming news is that Wilshere’s rightful partner, the African Blonde Song is back. It’s really surprising to know that Arsenal has won any league match that Song hasn’t played this season. Unlike Mido who was getting fat while out of action, Song was having a great time improving his fashion sense. It’s evidenced by the picture below.

Freshness defined

Even if his playing position isn’t part of our back bone, Theo Walcott’s importance to Arsenal cannot be overlooked. He has been brilliant for us this season with 11 goals to his name. Injuries have dented his progress this season but it’s good to know that his back. He adds dynamism to our play with his injection of raw pace. In every 4 games Walcott has played for us this season, Arsenal has won 3 because he has an Arsenal winning percentage of 75%. Let’s also remember that his introduction to the squad will make AW the Alchemist have selection headaches in the wing position.


Our Talisman, captain and Clark Kent El Capitan is also back after a few weeks out of action. Fabregas’ last performance for Arsenal was really poor but I’ll consider myself as an ingrate if I chastise El Capitan for that game against the BarcAliens. If Bendtner scored the goal from Wilshere’s perfect pass I’m not sure that anybody would have remembered about Fabregas’ poor outing and rVp’s red card. He has apologized all the same and I’m tipping him for an assist or two in tomorrow’s game.

see his trailing leg......arrrgh!

Some news has surfaced that young Jack Wlshere has hit the Fatherly jackpot. There are tales that his ex-girlfriend is pregnant for his child. I’m pretty sure that young Jack will make a great dad. Fabio Hitler said that our Whizkhid plays like 29 year old with 45 caps to his name. I’m very confident that he can handle the pressure that comes with fatherhood. I also believe that it will improve his performances on the pitch especially when he knows that his family is watching. There’s also a possibility that Wilshere’s grandkid can still watch him play.

Since he’s gonna be a father @ 19/20, he’s son/daughter can decide to follow his footsteps and give birth @ 19/20. I’m pretty sure that he can play till he’s 40. That way he’ll shatter David O’ Leary’s Arsenal appearance record to bits. We all know how the Under-21 Championship situation is.

When AW the Alchemist was asked about it, he said,

First of all that a player wants to play is not a bad sign at all. It’s a good sign. The rest will be sorted by Arsenal and the FA”

He also went on to say that there’s no tension between him and Stuart Pearce and this is not the time to be bothered about such a situation. Wily ol’ Wenger.

Let’s be realistic about this, we need Jack Wilshere in our remaining 9 games in the league. After we play Fool-ham in late May we can now bring up the issue of Jack’s participation in the summer tourney. There’s always a way out to every situation in life. We can try the Anelka approach or we can go to Anfield Transylvania and get some DNA from Dirk Kuyt. We could have gone to Old Strafford to get some DNA from Man Utd’s Wong Fei-Hong but his chin ko eyes may impair Wilshere’s sight.

If you check the picture below, you’ll see what I’m writing about.

The Fei-Hongs

AW the Alchemist also talked about the Premier League home stretch. He says,

We go into the final games of the season now and that’s where the differences are made. Let’s enjoy it, go for and I feel that this group has had great focus since the start of the season”

AW the Alchemist also talked about our desire to play our game and win games. I have to say that Arsenal has improved drastically this season but if we go trophyless again, questions will be asked of our mentality, focus, ability and everything else.

Squillaci also says that we should show our mettle. Squillaci and Denilson remind me of those Arcadians that joined Leonidas’ Spartans to fight the Persians. He uttered a simple word when the Arcadians where making a lot of noise when they were fighting.

Arcadians…..They do their part”

He and Kos are the only recognized center backs so I’m in no mood to point any fingers.

In other news, Buffon has been linked to Arsenal while there are emerging tales that we are closing to sealing a deal for Swedish youngling Kristoffer Olsson.

Just like the Chambered Ox and Jon Harper Toral, Olsson will win the league for us in 2020. Dunno about you but I’m not waiting that long.

I also want to apologize for the lateness of today’s post but it seems as if you, my esteemed readers will have to get used to this.

I work during the day so it will be hard for me to publish my posts in the daytime especially on weekdays. My Saturday and Sunday post will come in the daytime though.

Thanks for your understanding.

I’ll end today’s post with a tweet from a fellow gooner Nick Raven.

@Nicarlos: With Wilshere going to be a dad soon that should = him not going out drinking as much and that should = even better performances for Arsenal”.

Arsenal also created a poll in their fan’s forum.

Which of these players have Arsenal missed in March? Walcott, Song, Fabregas or Szczesny?

I voted for Szczesny, feel free to cast your vote for any other player by clicking on fan’s forum link.

Voting starts tomorrow in our beloved Nigeria, please vote wisely.