Daily Archives: April 7, 2011

Issues in the Board, a youngling speaks again and BlackBerry Messenger

Yesterday saw the final set of quarter final matches played although I didn’t give two fledging fucks. Barca hosted Shakhtar while the Cashlings played hosts to Man Utd. I have many contacts on my BlackBerry messenger. There are many contacts that are not Arsenal fans because not everybody must pledge allegiance to Arsenal FC. There are those who support Chelsea while there are those that rep United. There’s one Liverpool fan that’s somewhere in the mix.

Minutes before the English quarterfinal, I stirred up controversy by using the picture below as my display picture.

What does Drogba look like?

Drogba looks hilarious in that picture. The fact that I used such a photo didn’t indicate that I was choosing sides but a part of me wanted United to win Chelsea for two reasons. 1. Chelsea shouldn’t win the Champions League before us and 2. If Man U wins, it means that there’ll be more midweek games for them which results to tired legs.

Fuck it, I wanted Man U to win. How the fuck will I feel if Chelshit wins the Champions League before me own club, a club that was recently resurrected by Jose Moaninho just 6 years ago. I will be a fully blown Chelsea fan when they visit Old Strafford in the League.

That day, I’ll use pictures like

Happy Married Life



as my BlackBerry messenger dp so that Chelsea fans can feel free to steal it and use it as theirs.

When the matches were about to start I was juxtaposing on the game to watch. I hate Barcelona for sniffing Fabregas’ butt on a regular and ending our Champions League adventure for two years in a row and I also beef Shakhtar for finishing ahead of us in Group H even though we were the creators of our own downfall. Even after losing to Shakhtar thanks to Clichy’s loose brain chip, we were still at the summit of Group H after matchday 4 but we surrendered our group winning birthright when we lost at Estadio AXA in Braga, Portugal. We were even on the brink of playing in the Europa League if we had lost to Partizan in our final group game.

I was left with the English quarter final but in recent years games between Chelsea and Man Utd produced one or two moments of brilliance in 90 minutes of boring soccer. I then realized that I was in the month of April in my Football Manager 2011. I’m 2nd in the league behind Oil rich Man City with 7 games to go and I’m also in the Champions League quarters against Bayern. I was knocked out in the FA Cup by Chelsea but unlike Arsenal in reality, I have the Carling Spoon in my cabinet after gangbanging Aston Villa 6-1 in the finals. I realized that my BlackBerry Messenger and Twitter will give me enough info on both games so I got my ass in my bed and started a FM marathon that ended around 3 am.

As the both games started my BlackBerry became my bestie as it gave me everything I needed. The Rich RooThug scored what proved to be the match winner by placing a shot after some good work from the aged Hugh Giggs Hefner. I captured a picture from my BlackBerry messenger recent updates. This picture showed the elation of some of my Man Utd contacts and the anger of a football fan.

RooThug scores *yawns*

The football fan in question is a Tottenham supporter but she supported Chelsea yesterday because of her profound hatred for United but you wouldn’t blame her. As good as Tottenham think they are, they are Man Utd’s footballing bitches because Man Utd knows how to whoop their sorry arses.

While I was killing Bayern on FM after injuring Robben and young Mueller baby, Chelsea fans on my BlackBerry messenger started bitching up when Carlo the Cannibal substituted Drogba.


At least Onyi the Tottenham fan wasn’t bothered about Chelsea this time. After two more FM games, I saw another update that was quite interesting. Chelsea fans on my BBM started crying that they deserved a penalty.

Karma, you biatch

I checked Twitter at that point to verify their claims and I saw this tweet by an Indian gooner @VikramGooner.

@VikramGooner: No penalty given!!! Well its MUFC, what could you expect?”

A Man Utd fan on my BBM put this picture after the game.

Torres surrendering

Whether it was a penalty or not, I don’t give a ram’s testicle, when Mr. Atkinson awarded Chelsea a fake penalty against Smalling thanks to Zhirkov the movie star, Chelsea fans were elated and started deceiving themselves that their title challenge was back on track. I can’t deny that I was happy for that loss because if they drew we would have been 8 points behind United.

Chelsea, Karma is a big ass biatch. You won a fictitious penalty against the same opposition weeks ago so shut your pile holes and prepare for the 2nd leg I hope you would lose. At least, enjoy the trophyless feeling, it comes once a year. We and Liverpool fans know how that feeling is and we have found ways to keep ourselves busy when it happens.

Liverpool is going on their 5th year without silverware while we still hope that Man U drops dead for us in the league.

To the issues of the Red and White, Jeremie Aliadiere has listed Arsenal as his employers on facebook. He even went on to say,

I can confirm I’m back at Arsenal”.

Be the judge of that.

We have also been linked to a youngling at Charlton called Carl Jenkinson and it seems as if we will get his signature this summer. He’s a right back that’s also adept at the left back position. Since he’s 18, he’ll join Gunner Ryu Miyaichi and win the league for us in 2020. Let’s concentrate on the league of 2011 first.

Some say that he’s entry to the club might put our favourite Farmer Eboue’s future in doubt because there are claims that his Arsenal future in on the balance with a Twitch FC move on the cards.

Emmanuel Frimpong had a very nice pre-season with us but he damaged his cruciate ligament on his knee sometime in August. He’s however saying that he would have challenged for a place in the squad this season if he wasn’t hampered by his knee injury.

You have to admire his confidence but you may not necessarily blame him because he’s a youngling at Arsenal FC. AW the Alchemist is renowned for giving younglings a chance early in their careers. This approach has unleashed superstars like El Capitan, Song and Wilshere to the World. The approach has also brought players like Vela, Denilson and Diaby under big scrutiny.

Let’s look at our not so favourite Samba boy Denilson Neves Perreira. There are some 30-year olds in the Premier League that have not played half of the games Denilson has played but he’s no better. They say that young players grow with games but Denilson’s learning curve is a bit different. We all know how our Vela was in that Under-17 World Cup were he bagged the Golden Boot but if you go to the Arsenal squad in search of Vela you won’t find him because he’s currently plying his trade in West Brom because he was surplus to requirements this season.

I don’t know if Frimpong would have been as good as Wilshere but it saddens me to know that AW the Alchemist might not open his cheque book this summer because he says that Frimpong and Henri Lansbury will be part of his plans next season.

Since we haven’t reached the summer yet, let’s make do with what we have.

While teams do their bit on the field, there are different personalities that pull the strings behind the scenes. These business men or women are responsible for a lot of things which range from paying of player salaries, provision of transfer funds to employment of club staff and sponsorship deals.

When Man City was ruled by That Skin Shinanananananawatra they just moved into a new Stadium so they needed a manager would could balance the books and do other stuffs. Eriksson did his bit and was given the boot months later. Man City can now thank their lucky stars that those Oilers came to town and have invested £∞ in the club and have won nothing. After 7 draws in a roll and a few other results later, Sparky was shown the boot. You also have to question some managers. Sparky was enjoying a very good job at Blackburn and decided to test his ability with all the reaches in the World at his disposal but as Uncle Ben told Peter Parker in the movie hit Spiderman,

With great power comes great responsibility”

Sparky was responsible enough and his replacement Mancini might be sacked if Tottenham displaces Man City for that final Champions League spot again even if it seems unlikely.

Man Utd have won a shitload of trophies but they still have a lot of debt because of the mismanagement of the club by those Glove wearing Americans.  Barcelona appoints presidents who use player arrivals as part of their political campaigns. Chelsea is owned by a dictator from the U.S.S.R who sacks managers when he gets bored. Carlo the Cannibal may be shown the exit if he goes trophyless. Even if he shares the same birthday with me, I won’t break sweat if he gets sacked by Chelsea. I still beef him from kidnapping the Flanimal from us without paying jack to us. With his form that year, Flamini would have commanded a fee of at least £15m.

Arsenal on the other hand is still referred as a traditional club because of the way the club is run. Peter Hill-Wood is regarded as the supremo while important figureheads like Danny Frizman, Stan Kroenke and Lady Nina Bracewell-Smith are part of the decision makers. There’s also Alisher Usmanov somewhere n the mix. Usmanov is a few % away from making a full takeover but most of the prominent board members are against that action.

With Mr. Frizman’s health being put in question, there are emerging tales from David Dein might be back for a place in the board. Mr. Dean worked very well with AW the Alchemist in the glory days but it seems as if he might not be the same Dein that we knew years back. There’s a slight chance that he could buckle to pressure from Usmanov and sell some of his shares to him which could lead to a takeover. There are also tales that Mr. Dein supports Wembley as our home ground instead of the Emirates.

Just like Vegas, whatever happens in the Arsenal board should STAY in the Arsenal board. Our players are low in confidence and morale right now so I would be very upset if the board comes with their own biz into our footballing affairs.

Tomasz sent me an article of about the economic vindication of AW the Alchemist. Trust me, it’s worth a read.

I’ll end today’s post with the last comment that was placed in my blog by Chuboy the Man U fan. I prefer to call him Bukinho because he’s the only Brazilian that can do leg-overs in the sheets.

“At least Crouch left his mark in the Champions League by getting the fastest red card in Champs League history. There was a time @enigma106 was talking about winning the QUAD but now I know slowly and steadily United is GUNNING for the TREBLE”

The truth is fucking painful.