Let me tell you a word or two about the English Press, or media Vultures, as I prefer to call them. They have their “sources” stationed in probably every club in the world as they continue to publish articles that generate traffic, comments and what have you. There are days when the media Vultures feed us with news that brings elation to football fans while there are other days when they publish articles that makes a few hearts skip a beat or two.

Arsenal has been one of the most favorite media Vulture topics in recent years because there’s always something to say about Arsene Wenger, his team, the Board and sometimes, us the fans.

When that random philosopher made the quote, “let sleeping dogs lie”, the media Vultures heard this with one ear and let it pass through the other.

Every summer seems to come with a player that will drag things on before making that inevitable move out of the Emirates.

2009 had the Emmanuel Adebawhore show on display. I can vividly remember how he likened AC Milan to Beyonce before moving for the petro-greens of the Etihad. After taunting Arsenal with his childish celebration, his career went downhill as he spent good manhours rotting on the bench before securing a loan move to Real Madrid. Tottenham has offered Greedybayor some solace and he has learned to keep his mouth shut on issues concerning Arsenal.

The best part of the 2010 and 2011 summers were dominated by the Fabregate saga but $amir Na$ri stole the show with his shenanigans that has put him on Arsenal’s bad books for years to come.

This summer has seen a new superstar dominate the headlines for all the wrong reasons and to top it all of, it’s a player that was believed to have loved Arsenal through and through. In as much as I’ve grown weary about writing about Robin van Persie, I can’t seem to fathom why the forward, in his right frame of mind, would even consider moving to Arsenal’s eternal rivals, Manure United.

We all thought that he was frolicking and playing with Andre Santos in the German training ground, but yours truly, the media Vultures, have made us to believe that he flew back to England with Harry Potter’s broom to finalize his paperwork for his imminent move to Old Toilet…Trafford. At some point, Juventus seemed to be the team in pole position for his signature but the media Vultures told us that he’s in advanced talks with Man Utd.

To add fuel to an already ravaging inferno, Sir Alex Chewing Gum has been on the news as well,

“We have made a bid and they’ve been trying to negotiate with other clubs. I don’t have a gut feeling on it at the moment, I must admit. We’re not getting any breakthrough with Arsenal. It’s difficult to say why they’re operating this way. I don’t know what their thoughts are because they’re not giving anything away.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

If my memory serves me right, there was never, I mean, never any point in time when Arsene Wenger placed Wayne Rooney on his radar when he tried to force a move out of Old Trafford. Arsenal’s last piece of business (an embarrassing piece as well) was bringing in that wasted bag of muscles, Mikael Silvestre, to the Emirates for a buy one get one free price. It was more shocking to know that Wenger preferred to let Phillippe Senderos go on loan to Milan to accommodate that wasted material with a bean-shaped head.

Arsenal has every God-given right to hold onto van Persie for the last year of his contract. According to those folks at Forbes, we are the third richest football entity in the friggin’ globe with $1.13 B.I.L.L.I.O.N so why in the world are we even considering selling van Persie to the highest bidder?

Yes, he placed himself like an open duck with his poorly-timed statement and he would have gotten everybody’s blessing if the likes of Barcelona and Madrid snooped around but his potential suitors are not as much as he’d have thought his statement would’ve fetched.

It was understandable if he wanted to force a move to win trophies (blah, blah) but questioning the ability of his manager (that stuck with him through the bad times) and the club (that paid his wages and catered for his rehab countless times) that totally unnecessary. Even with the acquisition of Lukas Podolski, Olivier Giroud and Santi Cazorla, grumpy ol’ van Persie doesn’t seemed to be satisfied yet.

I could actually understand $amir Na$ri’s flirtation with Manchester United because he was shipped in from France, had spent three years or so with us and it was also glaring that he wanted the greens. Van Persie on the other hand has been at Arsenal for eight freaking years and he has also played epic encounters against the enemy. Van Persie knows about the hatred, contempt and anger Arsenal fans have for Manchester United and it will be an act of sacrilege if he attempts to seal the deal there.

These are the fuckers (yes, I said it!) that ended our immortal 49-match unbeaten run, spanked us with one of our heaviest defeats in the league (6-1), bullied us to sign some players we wanted (Chris Smalling, Phil Jones), dived and cheated countless times when we play in their Old Toilet and to crown it all off, they beat us with seven recognized defenders in their starting lineup.

Wayne Rooney has also backed his club up to get van Persie and he’s relishing the prospect of playing alongside the Flying Dutchman. However, I and many sane Arsenal fans they cannot even think of imagining a strike force spearheaded by Rooney and van Persie. For fuck’s sake, these guys had 57 Premier League goals between them last season.

Keeping van P£R$I€ against his will maybe considered as a crime to football in his lexicon, but I’d rather keep van Persie at Arsenal than to let him to go Manchester United.

That’s enough ranting for one post.

Sayonara.

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27 responses to “My Thoughts on Robin van Persie’s “Attempted” Act of Sacrilege”

  1. Leigh Avatar
    Leigh

    Never a truer word sed!!

  2. ariko Avatar
    ariko

    True talk..

  3. ASNLthruNthru Avatar
    ASNLthruNthru

    Absolutely agree!

  4. Joshua Avatar
    Joshua

    Why would Robin move to united to ‘win cups’. The arsenal squad looks clearly stronger this season. I also find it hard to understand why united want 29 year old Robin with many young available strikers out there. Thats probably because they fear us and the thought of arsenal rising once again makes Fagetson want to retire.

    1. enigma106 Avatar

      It’s really stupid…trying to unsettle us

    2. Omogbotemi Adesola Avatar
      Omogbotemi Adesola

      C’mmon now! If van Pussy goes to Manure, u know it’s for d Pounds.
      Like I told a pal, if Fergie’s that stupid, then let him pay the fee. While y’all fretting about Robin leaving for ManU, I don’t know!
      Attack is not the old Scot’s problem, it’s the midfield. Even with RVP, ManU still have midfield problems. And don’t expect him to bang in goals like last season. That would be with Arsenal. Or else, why didn’t he score more than 1 goal at the Euros? Let him go now if Wenger really wants. I’m happy we bought a strong player like Podi and Giroud is damn tough too. Watched him at Montpellier coupla times last season. While keeping Robin makes us strong, I must respect the rest of the team and say him leaving by no means reduce our firepower.
      Montpellier won the Ligue 1 for the first time in their lives where we had heavyweights like Marseille; power movers like Lillie and money launderers like PSG.
      The following season Henry left, Arsenal finished 3rd compared to the previous season they came 4th with Thierry. Moving and acquiring Cazorla is a joy.
      Forget all these noise about RVP!

      1. enigma106 Avatar

        Well said.

        I couldn’t agree more
        Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

  5. Salami Kehinde Avatar
    Salami Kehinde

    another great article, Man divided thought we are as stupid as them. we will keep RVP

    1. enigma106 Avatar

      Yes! I hope we will

  6. rich Avatar
    rich

    selling van p to man u is an insulting to arsenal fan, please if you dont find the outside team to buy him, keep him till the end of season then he will 30 years old next year then he can go wherever he wants.

  7. Adebisi Adeolu Avatar

    YESS U AV DONE JUSTICE TO THE WRITE UP, IF RVP STILL INSIST GOING TO OUR ENEMY IN OLD TOILET THEN HE JOINS THE INGRATES AND DECLARE HIM AS OUR ENEMY TOO. LONG LIVE GUNNERS.

    1. enigma106 Avatar

      I hope he doesn’t

  8. Foolishgooner Avatar
    Foolishgooner

    Just beautiful man! Eeefing beautiful rant! Proud to be a gooner and more optimistic than recent history. I am excited about the new addition treatment table escapees and more settled performers from last years panic buys. I’m also ready for more injuries, bad luck bad decisions and tactics (been blind to adjust 7 recognized defenders) and some heroics! But I am not ready for Van Persie in Manchester Red or Blue. I will believe when I see it. I will rather sell him to the feaking spuds…. Manchester Clubs are bullies on and of the pitch and I love/enjoy nothing more bearing a bully mentally, physically (if necessary) and verbally lol. Enough rant for a comment section lol. Cheers you beautiful Bastards!

  9. Gooner bully Avatar

    I dont think Van persi is leaving us. If he does i wish em th best but not to the machester clubs. @Rooney why is he pocking his noise in this bussiness. Isnt he the one who held Man u into captive by not wanting to sign an extention to his conctract when he was rily needêd to and after signed a long contract with man u. How doesnt want trophies. We now among the title contenders.

  10. Victor Kay Avatar
    Victor Kay

    This is a very beautiful article. The aim of Alex Ferguson is to see arsenal team weakened every season so that he will have only Chelsea and Man city to contend with since he cannot match them when it comes to money issues. Like you have rightly put it, that gum- loving manager is an enemy of arsenal and should never be given a chance to laugh at arsenal and the fans. Rvp must be at emirate for at least another year.

    1. enigma106 Avatar

      Yes, he has to stay, I hate Fergie

  11. offiong Avatar
    offiong

    I’ve been arguing wit M̶̲̥̅̊y̶̲̥̅̊ friends a lot about this, and they all seem †☺ tnk robin Ȋ̝̊̅§ rily moving for †ђξ mony. For M̶̲̅ε̲, †ђξ talk of d club not going in d right direction Ȋ̝̊̅§ utter bullshit with †ђξ club making 3 major signings. If van persie loves d club as he claims he does, he shd just come out and appreciate what d club has done in d mkt and re-sign for another 3yrs. If he doesn’t do that, then he goes †☺ united it means he Ȋ̝̊̅§ clearly going ther for d mony cos we hear they r ready †☺ pay him 200k a wk. For ferguson, he doesn’t rily need van persie and he knows that he Ȋ̝̊̅§ just trying †☺ weaken us and making sure city doesn’t get him. But for once, let our board stand their ground if van persie doesn’t want †☺ re-sign, pls hold him onto d last year ofhis contract. He’ll be 30yrs old next year let M̶̲̅ε̲ c any club who will pay an injury prone 30yr old 200k a wk and give him a 3yr deal. For once I admire Daniel levy!

  12. Joshua Avatar
    Joshua

    If you look at the bigger picture you would realise RVP isnt that great. He was barely half the player he was at the euros compared to arsenal. He scores alot because wengers tactics favour him to do so. He will be just like Henry when he went to Barcelona and couldnt replicate his arsenal form. His long term injury problems might come back to haunt him. This story will end like it did for Hleb. Look at him now.

  13. Maxwell Avatar

    RvP, if u leave arsenal to join man united, believe me you are going to win injuries as trophies, b/cos you are a disgrace to arsenal history?

  14. Sam Avatar
    Sam

    Ferguson is a CHEAT! I know very soon he will b disgraced out of man u. What he doesn’t want he does it to others: in transfer market, shouting at and controlling officials on d pitch e.t.c

  15. Goonerkam Avatar

    Ferret. Face. Ferguson. will NOT get his slimy hand on RVP to take to old turedford..
    Better just to keep licking Roony’s ass for a few more years. Hahaha.
    Die 3GS

  16. Goonerkam Avatar

    That die. 3Fs

  17. celestine Avatar
    celestine

    it pains me every time i look up posts with Van Persie’s intented move away from the emirates, it makes me want to hate him. or someone who the club and manager had and has showed him love all through his years of unproductivity with the club, when he sat on the bench with his injury plague. now, when we need our love to replicated he like a casanover that he has turned out to be.

  18. Gouresh Avatar
    Gouresh

    nice rant…hope ur feeling light after this. would really love to read more of your rants.

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  20. ball Avatar

    Great your site.
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