Gooner Daily

With the next Premier League fixture just around the corner, I’m supposed to be filled up with excitement in anticipation of Arsenal grabbing their first maximum points of the campaign…but when I realize that Arsene Wenger and his Red Army are going to the Britannia to play that rugby lot, my optimism isn’t as high as it ought to be.

Our record is a bit shabby in that part of England and we have our fair share of history with that lot – Gael Clichy scoring his first goal for the club, Robin van Persie’s shameful red card, the 2010 FA Cup defeat, Johan Djourou’s putrid performance that led to all three Stoke goals in the 2010/11 campaign and of course, the Shawcrossation of Aaron Ramsey.

My fondest memory of the Britannia still remains watching my team overcome the mental frailty of Ramsey’s double leg fracture to give the fans a second half to remember. Nicklas Bendtner’s header was inch perfect, Cesc Fabregas’ penalty was as cool as they come and the way the team celebrated Thomas Vermaelen’s match clincher exhumed passion in every sense of the word.

I’ll give a befitting preview for the Stoke game in tomorrow’s post.

Moving on to today’s bit, it seems as if there’s going to be a shiny light at the end of Arsenal’s dark injury tunnel as three Gunners are coming close to their optimal venues – two are sure-fire favorites to be fully fit while caution has been thrown to the wind on the third Gunner.

When Arsenal thumped Lukas Podolski’s previous employers in the Rhein-Energie Stadion, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain suffered an ankle injury that also kept him out of an England call-up. After undergoing some therapy from the world’s best medical team (you know I’m kidding, right?), the Ox has been deemed fit to make an appearance against those goons from Stoke-on-Trent.

It’s good to have the Ox back as Theo Walcott put up a shite-like performance against Sunderland, forcing Wenger to resort to the Russian pygmy, Andrey Arshavin, who was average at his best. In a game where Arsenal needed that injection of attacking verve to support the outstanding Santi Cazorla, Arshavin preferred to be sloppy with the ball while putting up his usual lackadaisical and lethargic attitude.

A few weeks ago, Arshavin was proud to announce that he was going to be a father for his third child. If only he showed the same enthusiasm and desire on the pitch in relation to what he does on bed with Mrs. Owl. Just kidding.

The Ox will give Arsenal some wit from the bench and he’s odds on to make a substitute appearance when the chips are down.

Laurent Koscielny is another player that has been on the sidelines recently but the Big F*ckin’ Giant, Per Mertesacker, did well in the Premier League curtain raiser against Sunderland. It’s a bit painful to know that the Stoke game will come too soon for Kos the Boss but he’ll be fit to face Liverpool in Anfield.

Koscielny’s aerial ability would have come in handy against a direct side like Stoke, but Arsenal will have to make do with their current backline. In his time as one of the lynchpins of the famous back four, Steve Bould had a very good frame that allowed him to jump like a kangaroo alongside Mr. Arsenal, Tony Adams, when defending set pieces. I hope that he has shared a tip or two to the team.

Finally, there’s more good news on Jack Wilshere as he continues to train hard in his rehab centre in his bid to gain full fitness. He was scheduled to return in October, but reports are emerging that Jackie boy is exceeding expectations and a comeback is closer than we think.

In my honest opinion, Wilshere should be allowed to build his fitness progressively because we need him for the long-term. If he’s to be fully fit and we look at the calendar to see the month of December, so be it. Wilshere was a general in the midfield when he donned the Red and White but we need to throw caution to the wind with this bloke.

The last time I checked, the depth of this current squad is more than enough to make up for Wilshere’s loss, and plans are still in place to get a new midfielder on loan, even though I wonder why it’s taking all eternity.

Moving over to transfer speculation, I’ll pick up where I left off with that midfielder on loan that Arsenal has been chasing since the days Olusegun Obasanjo was still Nigeria’s president.

Unless you’re living in a cave with no access to internet, Colored TV and civilization, you should know that Arsenal has publicly declared its intention to secure a loan deal for Real Madrid’s deep-lying playmaker, Nuri Sahin.

It was believed that the saga was to be over this week with Arsenal unveiling the handsome lad on Monday, but both negotiating parties hit a snag, as Arsenal wanted to add a clause that would see them purchase the midfielder permanently, but Madrid gave us the middle finger.

With this “development”, Sahin’s agent, Reza Fazeli, placed his client on the transfer radar yet again, and his client was attracted some interest from Arsenal’s rivals, Liverpool. Liverpool had initially withdrawn their interest in signing Sahin because, they like other Arsenal fans, had believed that it was a done deal with the Gunners.

Other rumor mongers are also publishing that Tottenham has half an eye on the Turk but are monitoring proceedings as he can be touted as a replacement for Luka Modric, who’s Madrid-bound.

Mourinho has given Sahin his blessing to set the Premier League alight with Arsenal being his potential destination but the Real Madrid hierarchy has no plans to let their 23-year-old starlet leave Santiago Bernabeu after a potentially successful one year loan spell in his proposed new club.

I like every Arsenal fan out there remains bamboozled and perplexed in Arsenal’s approach for Nuri Sahin. For heaven’s sake, sign this bloke on loan and give him a chance to dictate the tempo of our midfield alongside Mikel Arteta and Santi Cazorla. When he sees how valuable he can become in the Red half of North London, we can inject him with a lethal dose of the “van Nasregas” formula, which will prompt him to tell the press that a little boy inside him has been screaming, “Arsenal, Arsenal” all year long.

I’m sure you get the drift.

The media Vultures have published a piece linking Spain’s El Homesickla, Jesus Navas, to Arsenal. Navas’ eyes are no different from that of a vampire and like his fellow vamps out there, Navas loves his coffin which is buried in some cave in Seville.

There a lot of sunlight in London and his skin will burn to shreds, so he can like to remain in Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan. Thanks but no thanks.

In my opinion, that bloke is friggin overrated and I can bet that he wouldn’t thrive in a league as physical as the Premier League, except he wants to pull a Eden Hazard on us. What a signing he has been thus far, all £34m of it.

On potential departures, I’d heard gist about Celta Vigo gunning for Park Chu-Young and Zenit re-igniting their interest in signing Arshavin.

In one word – HALLELUYAH!!!

To wrap things all up, last season’s import from Ligue 1, Gervinho, has stated that he wants to emulate the great and dreamy Le Bob, Robert Pires, and he aims to perform better than Arsene Wenger’s third best French acquisition of all time, after Le Igwe and Monsieur V.

While wearing the famous Number 7 jersey once donned by the great Liam Brady, Pires was the lynchpin of the left wing and he forged a great telepathy with Ca$hley Cuntly Cole. After amassing 284 appearances for the Gunners, Pires had 84 goals to show for it, as well as many fond memories he filled Arsenal hearts with.

The lanky stature, the unpredictable style of play no different from David Ginola, the dreamy looks, vampire fangs, the wavy locks of hair and of course, the standout beard that never seemed to grow beyond that line in his jaw.

Pires also used his amazing football ability to help his club win trophies and his goal against Southampton in the 2003 FA Cup final can never be forgotten, as it was the goal that handed Arsenal the trophy, after a disappointing Premier League campaign that saw the Gunners resign the title to Manchester United under acrimonious circumstances.

Pires has also been in the news lately, as he shared a word or two about Arsenal’s new boy, Santi Cazorla,

“Santi called me when the offer from the club arrived and I told him it was the perfect club for him. The way the team plays will suit him perfectly and he is the kind of player Arsene loves too.</em<

He is a very exciting player, very gifted technically with both feet. He has an impressive creative touch and he can play in the centre or on the wings.

His vision and the quality of his passing is brilliant but he can also take people on. Despite still being quite young, he has big experience with the Spanish national team and has also played in the Champions League.

Finally, he has a very good mentality and is a real team player. He will need a bit of time to settle but I’m convinced he will adapt very quickly and will be a great signing for Arsenal.”