Since its inception on the 26th of November, 2010, goonerdaily has being providing its esteemed readers with Arsenal news using its own writing style that made it unique. The distinct feature of my blog is the use of nicknames for basically all players, managers and clubs mentioned. The creation of any nickname must have a motive or reason behind it. I am going to write down a list of all nicknames for everybody that is connected with goonerdaily. The list begins in this order:
- Arsenal players
- Premier League Clubs and their managers
- Others mentioned in previous posts.
This is the club I’ve been supporting since the good Lord knows when. I’ve always had this habit of giving nicks to people around me so my gunners won’t be any different. I beseech you to at least keep the nicks of our gunners in your head because I intend to stop the “name tagging” at the end of January for Arsenal players. Thanks for your understanding.
The order will be the player’s real name, the nickname and the reason behind the nickname.
ALMUNIA, Manuel – “Stainless Steel” – His surname sounds like the metal used in Stainless Steel production, Aluminium.
FABIANSKI, Lukasz – “Flyin Fabbi” – He has the reflexes of a cat and Fabbi is like a short form for his name
SZCZESNY, Wojciech – “Szszszsz” – His surname can make you bite your tongue.
MANNONE, Vito – “Don Vittorio” – He looks like an Italian mafia gangsta.
SAGNA, Bacary – “Timaya” – His hairstyle reminds me of Timaya
EBOUE, Emmanuel – “Farma” – His diving acts can be used to “till the soil”
CLICHY, Gael – “Flash” – His lightning speed
GIBBS, Kieran – “Ogo Gibbsy” – His elongated skull (Ogo in Yoruba)
VERMAELEN, Thomas – “The Verminator” – His assassin like look that reminds people of the Terminator
DJOUROU, Johan – “Injourou” – Because of the large amount of time he spent out injured
KOSCIELNY, Laurent – “Kos100%tackle” – His amazing anticipation ability
SQUILLACI, Sebastien – “Squisha” – The “Squi” factor
SONG, Alexandre – “Sabinus” – The guy too sabi ball abeg…….lol
DENILSON, Neves – “NwaSamba” – He’s a young Brazilian
FABREGAS, Francesc – “El Capitan” – The Captain in Spanish
DIABY, Abou – “Diabytes” – He plays as if his suffering from his own syndrome, Diabytes
WILSHERE, Jack – “Whizkhid” – His present status as a wonderkid
ROSICKY, Tomas – “Banana Lomo” – His playing style is “slippery”
RAMSEY, Aaron – “Rambo” – That’s his real nick….AquaNama wasn’t too cool. Cc @dkingpin
NASRI, Samir – “El-Rufai” – He bears an almost identical name with former FCT minister, Nasir El-Rufai
ARSHAVIN, Andrei – “Hotty” – Kinda looks like an owl. Owls hoot. #okbye
VELA, Carlos – “Aztec Warrior” – His Mexican descent
WALCOTT, Theo – “Wal Kuint” – Almost the same pronunciation
van Persie, Robin – “glassboned vP” – His injury proneness
CHAMAKH, Marouane – “ChiAmaka” – Almost the same pronunciation
BENDTNER, Nicklas – “Wald Bezt” – Because he says he’s gonna be one of the World’s best strikers someday.
Wenger, Arsene – “AW the Alchemist” – He turns young players from LEAD to GOLD
PREMIER LEAGUE CLUBS AND THEIR MANAGERS
These are other 19 cuntbutlers we contend with for the ultimate goal – The Premier League title. The order will be the club’s real name, its nickname and the reason behind the nick. The manager’s name and nick follows shortly afterwards.
Aston Villa – “The Villans” – They were not worth a nickname creation, their manager too.
Birmingham City – “McAlbino’s Blues” – Their managers probably has a lot of recessive genes in his body, besides they are the Blues.
Blackburn Rovers – “The White and Blue Rugby boyz” – They are a rugby outfit disguised as footballers.
Blackpool – “Fruities” – In reality, they are called the Tangerines…..that’s a fruit, innit?
Bolton Wanderers – “MadMan Coyle’s Nomads” – Wanderers = Nomads, Coyle = Sane Psycho….looks it though!
Chelsea – “Cashlings” – They used to be the money super heavyweights but got demoted when the Arab boyz came around. Manager: Carlo the Cannibal – He could eat a human with one gulp
Everton – “Scot’s Blues” – They are the Blues, manager a Scot……do the Math!
Fulham – “Fool-ham” – One of my personal favourites; same pronunciation, different meaning
Liverpool – “Count Hodgson’s Vampires” – Jersey colour: Blood Red
Manchester City – “Cash Money Oil Money Billionaires” – It’s all about the Arab Benjamins.
Manchester United – “Red Hell Owners” – Jersey colour: Red, who owns Hell?: You-know-Who…definitely not Lord Voldemort. Manager: Sir A. Chewie – He chews the cud in chewing gum form.
Newcastle United – “Cartoons” – The last time I checked they were called the Toons.
Stoke City – “Red Striped Rugby boys” – Another rugby outfit wearing red striped jerseys
Sunderland – “Red Striped Black Pussies” – Cat = Pussy, you know the rest
Tottenham Hotspurs – “Twitch FC” – He’s got a twitch
West Bromwich Albions – “WBA” – Like Aston Villa, they aren’t worth @enigma106’s brain power.
West Ham United – “Carpenters” – Carpenters use “Hammers”
Wigan Athletic – “WigWig” – Sounds nice.
Wolves – “Wild Bingoz” – They are a bunch of wild dogs disguised in a gold plated jersey.
OTHERS MENTIONED IN PREVIOUS POST
Once in a bloody while, some WankHammers put their unwanted noses in Arsenal business. @enigma106 has his own way of dealing them. Their nicks are always the funniest. They include:
FC Barcelona – “BarcAliens” – Bloody aliens who came to invade Earth with their inhuman football.
INIESTA, Andres – “WhiteZombie”- Dunno about you, but I think he needs a proper Sun tan.
DOMENECH, Raymond – “ArseCrater, Arseling, Cuntus….you name it” – He felt El-Rufai not good enough for his wretched squad. His lucky that El-Rufai is still young. I pray he gets sodomised by an angry bear someday.
EVRA, Patrice – “Monsieur Tuck-in” – Can’t fly his jersey even if his life depended on it.
NANI, Luis – “Yar Adua” – Looks like Nigeria’s former No. 1 citizen.
GALLAS, William – “Mercenary” – Played for the Cashlings, the Arsenal and Twitch FC..Where does his bloody loyalty lie?
SENDEROS, Phillippe – “Send Errors” – We all knew how he was during his time with us.
LEHMANN, Jens – “Volatile Jens” – That was one crazy bloke.
MESSI, Lionel – “Little Wizard” – We all know what happens when he waves that wand of a left foot. Terror
MOURINHO, Jose – “Moaninho” – He talks too f*cking much!
There are many more Buttsniffaz that like sticking their pig-like snouts in Arsenal affairs. You won’t blame them;
We start every league season at 1st position……Arsenal….You’ll have to be Accrington Stanley to displace us in first place.
We are the only club not named after a city or some bloody place….We are “the Arsenal”
We have the largest collection of good looking players in one team….no football club can boast of more female football fans than us.
We are a traditional British club that is run by the most understanding Board Members on the planet.
We are the only club whose manager shares the same name with the club………Arsene-al
Enough said………….there’s still a blog to write today.
This was definitely for your viewing pleasure.
Expect January 2nd‘s blog post in a few hours.
This is definitely our year.