Arsenal 0 Sunderland 0: Our title winning credentials put under question.


I spent hours sleeping yesterday but my bed seemed as if it was spinning round and round.

Yesterday, I celebrated my convocation after spending 5 years in my university studying Chemical Engineering. I went to nightclub that is supposed to be in Siberia. A nightclub that freezes the people inside it despite attempts to shake off with dancing.

Instead of sticking to my drinking heartthrob Guinness, I blended it with Red Label and Red Bull.

It’s now time to blog about the Red and White.

Arsenal hosted Sunderland after spanking Leyton 5-0.

I thought Koscielny was going sit out because of his hammy but he was deemed fit to play.

Sunderland first choice goalie Craig Gordon was out injured so it was that Belgian bloke that was out of position when Fabregas used his knee to score in the Stadium of Light that stood the sticks.

Like Foster, the Coloured One, Jaasky, Al ibn HabHab and the rest, this bloke joined the list of goalies who are mediocre and shite against other opposition but World Class against the Gunners.

We started well and continued waves of attack against Sunderland. There was even time for the commentators to comment about Koscielny and Szszsz when he headed the ball back to the goalie.

He said,”No mistake this time”. The English Premier League is the best for different reasons. The commentary is in-depth and World Class. Those former players always know what to say, when to say and how to say.

Our left side was vibrant and lively. AA23 and Clichy linked up well with the fullback delivering a teasing cross to B52’s path but his long legs had no effect this time because the ball evaded everyone and ran across to the right hand side. The Sunderland defense failed to clear the ball so Sagna won it back and fed captain for the day Nasri. His left foot shot was easy pickings for the goalie.

A delightful over the top was sent to B52. His first touch was perfect but his second took the ball to the keeper’s path for an easy routine catch.

On the other side, Wojciech Szczesny spent most time watching Arsenal attack but was very competent when he was called upon.

Sunderland’s newbie Sessessses skinned Clichy and let one rip towards our goal. Szszsz made a decent save but had Djourou to thank as our Swiss brick wall sent the ball to roll Z.

Nasri and Sagna were also as good as their left sided counterparts but the Whizkhid’s final shot from the build up was poor.

The referee also played a major role in this match. His decisions affected the final outcome of the game.

AA23 and Clichy linked up well again for our left back to float one in. The ref stopped play then awarded Sunderland a freekick for an infringement by B52.

African World Cup heart breaker AsaGyan teed up former Twitch FC midfielder Steed Malboro but Djourou won a goal kick off him by executing a perfectly timed challenge

Nasri gave Wilshere the ball in the centre circle. Our Whizkhid sent a magical pass to AA23 put that hefty Titus and the goalie did enough to make Arshavin spurn the chance.

Yesterday’s game saw Koscielny take on a role that has been missing in football since the days of Franz Becken Jack Bauer. The libero.

Koscielny spent some time up front and won some free kicks in dangerous areas.

B52 scored a hattrick in his last outing for Arsenal. He unfortunately hasn’t scored any Premier League goal in 2011. His last league goal was in that 2-2 draw against Wigan.

Diaby created a nice chance for himself but dallied on the ball when he got into the box. A last ditch tackle from that high scoring left back saved the day.

Nasri was our Harry Potter yesterday while the Emirates was his lil’ Hogwarts. His confidence level when he’s with the ball is reminiscent to the great Zizou himself. Like Djorkaeff and Zidane, he comes from a long line of Algerian Frenchies. I really hope we get his future sorted out because he has achieved cult hero status with his performances this season.

I’m very sure that he’ll be a player to watch out for in Football Manager ™ 2012. He’ll definitely be in Arsenal’s “favoured personnel”. Let’s just hope the World doesn’t by then. Science…..bleeeeeh.

Wilshere sent a corner in from the right hand side. The ball hit one heavy bloke and appeared in B52’s front with his back to goal. He showed great improvisation to attempt an overhead kick but it was fired straight at the goalie.

Clichy worked hard to feed Nasri. His shot at goal was quite weak. He didn’t get his foot around the ball well.

Nasri Potter did another “expecto patronum” trick to all Sunderland dementors on the pitch. He gave it to B52 who in turn gave the Diabyfied Baldy. He wasted the golden chance.

Wilshere is another gem we have Arsenal FC. He chipped a lovely ball to B52 on the edge of the area. All Bendtner did was to have a quick look at the goalie then showed his amazing technique to fire a quick volley at goal from a tight angle. The expression on Bendtner’s face told the whole story. He, his teammates, @enigma106 and the 60,000 Red and White fans were all bewildered how the ball didn’t enter the net.

The ref blew his whistle for halftime. There was optimism everywhere. We were going to close that bloody gap. Bleeeh.

Aaron Ramsey went out of the bench for a run out. The cheers of the Arsenal faithful could be heard in the moon. Passion.

As we pressed on, our centre backs pushed up. Djourou got himself in a mix up with two blokes and got an elbow in the face for his troubles.

While he was receiving treatment, the commentator said that there’s Squillaci on the bench. That statement made I and @Chuksbass look at each other and nod our heads in unison. That’s a player that’s 0.001% better than Silvestre.

Chamakh replaced Denilson to add some wit to our attack. As always, he was wearing a SuperSnood. The guys at the commentary box said that snoods will be banned in July. As if I, Nasri, Denilson, Chamakh, Totti, Buffon and the rest of the SuperSnood army give two fully fledged fucks.

Chamakh then made some space to feed Arshavin with only the keeper to beat but our diminutive Czar aimed it straight at the goalie.

The ref then had the nerve to award a throw-in to Sunderland because Clichy did a “foul throw”. That was the C in crap.

Koscielny continued his libero role and won a free kick on the edge of the box. I checked his preferred moves on Football Manager ™ 2011 and I found out that he likes to “get forward whenever possible”.

His only goal from open play came against Blackpool. His other two were from set plays against Everton and Ipswich.

The resulting free kick from Nasri was something special but the goalie pulled up the save of the match. The disappointing thing was that there were no predators to finish it off because the keeper was out of position after making that magnificent save.

We continued waves and waves of attacks. Nasri did some tricks then supplied a simple ball to Wilshere. The cross to the box from our Whizkhid was inch perfect. Up stepped Chamakh to do what he’s renowned for. The Belgian bloke was beaten hands down but the bar came to his rescue.

Hard luck at its best.

Szszsz cleared a ball that seemed destined for a throw-in. Clichy somehow managed to keep the ball in play then fed AA23 who had a few touches before giving Nasri. Nasri saw Sagna overlapping on the edge so he gave him a pass. Sagna killed an albatross that decided to pass through the Emirates for the first time.

AW the Alchemist brought on TR7 for Diaby. This made us switch to 4-4-2.

The major talking point of the game will undoubtedly be a penalty that wasn’t given.

Nasri drifted to the middle of the back and sent AA23 through on goal. That heavy overweight Titus was closing down on him. AA23 was too fast for that fish so the overweight bully shoved Arshavin at the back and went to the ground like the sack of rice he is. This made AA23 lose balance thereby shooting blanks with his left foot. Where’s Phil Dowd when you need him?

In football, when you attack you leave spaces behind. Sessessess skinned Clichy and sent a good cross to Man Utd reject Welbeck. He brought ball under control superbly with his back to goal then lashed a hard shot to our bottom corner. The young big Pole came to our rescue with another fantastic save.

Sunderland had a corner that came straight to an unmarked Necky Henderson in our box. His shot was deflected off B52 but Szszsz made another descent stop.

With Arsenal pressing for a goal late on, the players became more combative to win the ball from time wasting Sunderland.

Nasri was expressing his leadership on the pitch by closing down a bloke and winning the ball outrightly. The man with the whistle blew for a free kick to Sunderland thereby incuring our captain for the day’s fury. Nasri got booked for that.

Arshavin then received a through ball, dribbled the goalie then scored a goal but it was ruled out for an offside. Replays proved otherwise. Some linesmen can be incompetent dimwitted cuntbutling wankhammers. I’m 100% sure that if it was in Old Strafford or the Blue Bridge, that goal would’ve been allowed.

The penultimate noteworthy attempt on goal was from a cross by TR7. The goalie saved the ball on his touchline.

The final chance fell to libero Koscielny. His header was off target.

So it ended at 0-0. Just as Carlo the Cannibal’s Cashlings beat United for “London”, pedawan Star Wars apprentice Bruce held Arsenal for his Jedi Master Sir Alex Chapman Chewie.

Man Utd’s lead at the top just shortened to 3 points instead of 1.

This is football.

Szszsz (6.9) did well when called upon. Clichy (7.0) put up a commanding performance. Sagna (6.3) sent many poor crosses in. Koscielny (6.8) became a libero. Djourou (6.7) did okay. Diaby (6.2) lacked ideas up front. Denilson (6.2) lacked concentration at times. Wilshere (7.3) did well in the advanced role. Nasri (7.5) was in his own magical World. AA23 (6.8) should have scored when he had the chance. B52 (6.5) was denied a great goal. Chamakh (7.0) would have gotten a goal and an assist if AA23 wasn’t profligate. TR7 (6.2) made no impact on the game.

Just like the Newcastle game, we knew that a victory against would’ve put us in touching distance but we drew.

What hurts me more than my aching head is the Red Hell Owners are losing to Count Dalglish’s Red Vampires and its already half time.

I wouldn’t give a snake’s fangs about how Man Utd and Liverpool are faring right now.

I need more sleep in my life right now.

So I’ll ending today’s post with a question.

“Does Arsenal FC have the credentials to win the Premier League?”


About enigma106

An Arsenal fan with a good sense of humor

Posted on March 6, 2011, in Arsenal, Match Report, Premier League and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. If Arsenal were a motor vehicle, they’d be a ramshackle Vietnamese bus shedding vital parts as it limps slowly towards its destination, which at this rate will be a trophyless depot in the middle of Nowheresville. They are so knackered, teams just pitch up at the Emirates, take the weight off while the Gunners run around for a bit, then skip away with a point, or sometimes three.

    Rather than accept their own failings in the finishing department after firing another blank at home, Arsenal prefer to look for an easy target to blame, preferably one with a flag or whistle in his hand. Everyone gets poor decisions over the course of the season, but how come the ones against Arsenal seem to dominate the headlines for a full week? Wenger’s team are rarely lacking in the silk department, but their want indicator is running on empty – and that’s the last thing they need going into this next six days.

    After the Carling Cup meltdown the quadruple became the treble, and that could quickly become the single after the small matter of Barcelona in the Champions League on Tuesday (heavy defeat) followed by Manchester United in the FA Cup on Sunday (narrow defeat).

  1. Pingback: 2010/11 season review: What might have been « Gooner Daily

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