The perfect BarcAlien extermination formula: Theo van Nasregas
Champions League football is around the corner. Twitch FC go to San Siro to set the Champions League fire away.
It has been reported that the BarcAliens have arrived on Earth from Krypton. It has also been reported that they will be without their die-hard captain who plays like someone that has a high caffeine overdose.
AW the Alchemist might throw caution to the wind by resting Samir Nasri but it seems as if he’s in dire need of a game of this calibre.
Samir “El Rufai” Nasri wrote this on Twitter today.
“@Nanas08: Hi tweeps good session today I’m fully fit and back with the squad looking forward to it”.
This is the type of game who would want El Rufai to play. Besides, Nasri contains 25% of the BarcAlien extermination formula.
The first name in the formula is “Theo”. The name stands for the most handsome and second fastest player in the league. The only player in the league that tore the net with his shot. The player that the World left footed Wizard of the Year is even scared about.
Leo Messi says,” I can only speak from experience but he was one of the most dangerous players that I’ve ever played against. Barcelona players are not easily scared but I can tell you that when we played Arsenal last season he truly worried us.”
Messi also said that he came from the bench and salvaged a draw for us.
When the BarcAliens visited Mother Emirates Earth, the Maximum Kryptonian Well played at left back. Theo Walcott became his personal terrorist for the night for the last 30 minutes of that game. He scored first then won the penalty that tied the game at 2-2.
Walcott was talked about with the game in Nou Camp coming up. He lived up to the terrorist Al Moqtada hype by giving B52 the assist for our only goal in Krypton. He says that we have “learnt” enough from that game so I believe that Theo would be one of our star performers tomorrow.
Since winning his place from AA23, the young English man hasn’t looked back. He has scored goals and supplied assists. He also has a “secret” weapon that’s not really a secret. His blistering pace.
Sorry Maximum Kryptonian Well, but this fast “terrorist” will be more than a handful for you. Just drop and play dead.
Even if his name ends the formula, Francesc Fabregas is definitely the “gas” we need to exterminate those BarcAliens. While the other members of the team form the Arsenal “Justice League”, El Capitan stands out as the man with the Red Cape and Red Undies on the Blue outfit…..Super Fab.
Times without number has he brought our play from mediocrity to a masterpiece. His introduction to the playing squad is like a breath of fresh air to every one that has the Red and White in his/her heart.
What makes the idea of having El Capitan in our team sweeter is that we found him from the BarcAlien Mutant Academy. Throughout the summer they have been flirting with our captain like a whore that wants a quickie but Fabregas wants to stay faithful to his team/wife.
The final piece in the Theo van Nasregas puzzle is our flying Dutchman, rVp.
rVp has scored 10 goals in January/February thus making him the viper of all strikers, the one with the most potent venom. His renowned for his evil left leg, but he has rattled the net with his right leg and his head. He needs to score one with his arse like the Mercenary William Gallas.
With these 4 men, we are sure that we’ll give the BarcAliens a show tomorrow.
They will be responsible for the attack. I hope we’ll be coordinated and disciplined at the back.
Alex Song says that if we play Barca the way we played the Cashlings, we’ll come out on top. Arsenal really impressed me against Chelsea. The way we pressed and probed them was surprising but welcome.
Our star defender Johan Djourou made some nice comments about our number 1 Szszsz.
He says,” Wojciech Szczesny is only 20 but, according to Johan Djourou, it feels like he has “been around for years”.
Szszsz has the mentality of an aged goalie. I guess age is just a number as people will say.
That’s a wrap for now.
The tweet of the day goes to ArsenalUpdates
“@ArsenalUpdates: All that hassle Abramovich went through to fire-sell his shares in Russian TV just to fund the purchase of Torres; and CFC are still shit.”
Clit Dempsey should have put them out of their misery. I guess their title hopes have found the “blues”.
Time to watch Twitch FC play in their maiden knockout round match.
Funnily enough, I’m not wishing the worst for them.