The inevitable happened yesterday with another Star Wars pedawan losing to Jedi Master Sir Alex Chewie. Sparky’s boys conceded two unfortunate goals. The first was offside to me while the only pre-historic Aussie in existence decided to have an Almunia moment and was beaten by Michael Jackson’s brown clone before he crossed for that one-dimensional winger that was meant to be CR7’s replacement. We kick off this afternoon knowing that we are 10 fucking points behind United and 8 goals behind in terms of goal difference so if there’s any time to do the 6-0 double, it’s now.

AW the Alchemist is Arsenal. He and the club share the same first name. In his first 9 seasons as our manager has amassed an impressive 11 trophies making him the most successful manager in Arsenal’s history. He was at the forefront when we started working on the project called Ashburton Grove. In our days in the 38,500 seater Highbury, we were simply invincible but our transition to the Emirates hasn’t yielded fruit for AW the Alchemist. The last 5 seasons has seen us come close to a trophy in several occasions but as they say. “Almost can’t kill the fucking bird”.

This season promised much but March came along and faded all our aspirations leaving us with just one. We were 9 wins away from being crowned champions of the league but that disappointing draw last week saw Arsenal hand the baton to Man Utd. Just like what AW the Alchemist said about Szczesny’s goalkeeping situation when he was asked, the title is Man Utd’s to lose. AW the Alchemist says that he’s proud of his team’s attitude and quality.

You can’t actually doubt that because there were games we showed that we wanted it more than our opponents who were will to park the bus. The home games between West Ham, Everton, Stoke and Chelsea can be noted for our zeal to win but in the games against Newcastle and Blackburn last week we were very flat, poor and there was no desire to give 110% in that game. There were some players that showed zeal in that game; Nasri got a swollen head for giving his all in nodding that ball, AA23 ran back 70 yards to prevent a cross from going into our area, Wilshere lost the back and got stuck with some bloke which gave us an injury scare while Sagna got hacked in cold blood by some bloke because he went in for the ball.      Quality is a word that goes hand in hand with Arsenal. Sagna is one of the most respected right backs in the business. I can only think of Maicon, Saturn Head Alves and Rafael Nadal of Madrid before calling Sagna. Wilshere is presently a nominee for the Young Player of the year award and is currently part of a power tussle between Fabio Hitler and Stuart Pearce. There are claims that Man City is willing to give us £40m for his services. Fabregas is a European and World Cup winner with Spain and those BarcAliens still have him on their radar. Nasri is currently the French Footballer of the Year and rVp can be regarded as one of the most lethal strikers in World football. I’m not sure any striker in the planet scored more goals than him in January and February.

AW the Alchemist has also talked about the mental state of his squad. He says that he hopes he can finish as well as he can and if Man Utd wins the league he would waste no time in congratulating them because the team that wins the league this season deserves to win it. This season scripts have been torn and rewritten and I’m pretty sure that there’ll be a twist in the tail somewhere.

Today’s opponents were thought a footballing lesson in August thanks to Koscielny and Chamakh’s Arsenal account openers, an Arshavin spot kick and a Walcott hattrick. They started the season as high flyers with their win at Anfield Transylvania their most memorable. 2011 has been a lot different for them and they are presently in 17^th place with just 2 wins in their last 14 league outings. They also have the record for the most headed goals this season so we have to be wary of the threat they’ll pose from set pieces.

For team news, I expect Almunia to continue between the sticks. We know that he has been walking on a tight rope but we have to stick to the Devil we know because a Szczesny comeback seems imminent. Sagna is a major doubt for this game but we know that he knows how to keep his fitness in check but with our next game being against Count Dalglish’s Red Vampires it won’t be a bad idea drafting our favourite Farmer Eboue back to the squad. The French trio of Clichy, Koscielny and the Squisha will complete the defensive setup.

Song is out again but with Ramsey still struggling with his groin and Denilson being Denilson, Wilshere may be partnered by Diabytes in the holding role. El Capitan is fully fit so he’ll assume his Mr. Creativity role.

There are some concerns with Walcott’s fitness so the attacking trio will be Nasri, AA23 and rVp.

Almunia

Farmer-Koscielny-Squisha-Clichy

Diaby-El Capitan-Wilshere

Nasri-rVp-AA23

Man City, Chelsea and United beat Blackpool in Bloomfield Road

Arsenal FC

Do what you must.

Sayonara