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Wenger the manager, van Persie the assistant and the two-faced Fabregas

It’s really strange to know how quickly games come thick and thin when every football season starts. When Walcott scored Arsenal’s last goal against Fulham, August couldn’t come soon enough because everyday spent with the media Vultures felt like forever.

A stalwart who served the club for eight good years was sold honorably to the oil money bags while another player that served for three years and had a half season of wonders had a lot of shenanigans before he was sold to the same oil money bags.

August was marred by Gervinho’s debut red card, Liverpool’s winless streak at Arsenal’s home broken and the club’s biggest defeat since the days Zeus gave Greece the license to host the Olympic Games.

The high points of August were the emergence of Emmanuel Frimpong, Theo Walcott and van Persie’s good goal scoring form and qualification to the Champions League.

Arsène Wenger’s side had the best away form in the league last year but his team couldn’t match it with its performances at the Emirates. He told the media Vultures that his team’s Old Trafford nadir has distorted their excellent recent form on the road and that’s not a lie.

It’s not everyday you get spanked with eight goals. Even Wigan Athletic received nine in a big blue basket at White Hart Lane but that score line was never repeated again. Chelsea slammed eight past them to win the league in grand style.

Wenger has also labeled the enthralling 1-1 draw against the German champions as a fair result and it’s an assessment that has been shared by Per Mertesacker.

The German warned Arsenal about the threat that Dortmund posed and he recently told the media Vultures that Arsenal had Lady Luck on its side.

It’s normal for a manager to be asked about the futures of loan deals and Wenger has gone on to say that he’ll not rule out signing Yossi Benayoun on a permanent basis.

The Isreali mosad (lol) also told the media Vultures that he didn’t reject a Liverpool move to join Arsenal.

Arsenal’s opponent tomorrow is currently in a precarious state and the fans are literally requesting for Steve Kean’s head on a plate. Shortly after the wealthy Indian businessmen took over the club, they sacked Big Sam despite being in 13th place and Steve Kean took over the affairs of the club then sweated blood and sand like Spartacus to reach the 40 point mark and end up in 16th place.

The most annoying issue about Blackburn’s situation was that they had not managed any away point in 2011 but they came to the Emirates at the start of April to secure a boring 0-0 draw. Wilshere had a glaring miss in that match and all the media Vultures that were hailing him for his performances criticized him for his lack of goals.

However, Arsène Wenger has expressed his sympathy for Blackburn’s manager:

“I have a lot of sympathy for Steve Kean. He is a young manager and you want to give him time to do his job.”

“A lot of the time you complain that the English managers do not get a chance and I can understand that, but when they do get a chance you must give them time.  It’s hard for everybody, even for those who manage for 30 years.”

“I just believe this job is difficult. Everyone who has been in it knows it, and how much depends on the situation you are in at the moment. When you don’t win at the start it’s difficult.”

Premier League chairmen have been proven down the years as an impatient bunch and many managers have lost their jobs under acrimonious circumstances.

Still sticking with tales of managers, Arsenal’s No. 2 Pat Rice was the man in charge when Arsenal faced Dortmund but he has told the media Vultures that van Persie assumed the role of an assistant manager on the pitch:

“Did I like it? No. It has never been one of my ambitions to be manager of a football club.”

‘It was too stressful for me and extremely strange not to have the manager with me. He is normally shouting in my ear.”

Rice also took out time to play some sweet tunes about Arsenal’s No. 1 citizen:

“Robin is the club captain and we encouraged him to be verbal on the park and off it.”

“He was asking me one or two things about what we could do better and I was saying one or two things which could make the team better.”

“As for the goal, it is nothing unusual to see Robin do that. It was a great run by Robin and a terrific ball through.”

“It was unusual to see Robin hit it with that foot but it proves he is not a one-foot footballer.”

Van Persie was imperious against Dortmund and his performance as a captain rubbed off on his peers. He scored Arsenal’s goal and was on the end of almost every corner kick that was swung in by Dortmund.

Van Persie is one player that Arsenal cannot afford to lose because the burden of goal scoring will be transferred to Chamakh and Park CY.

The Moroccan had a great start for the club but his form and confidence waned as he spent more time on the bench. Park is a good player but the fans haven’t witnessed him in action yet, I have a hunch that he’ll start against Shrewsbury in the Carling Cup on the 21st.

Cesc Fabregas is a player that wrote his name in Arsenal’s folklore in his eight-year stint at the club. He represented the future Wenger preached about and he dropped a legacy at the club for being one of the most creative forces to have ever worn the Red and White.

As a footballer, Fabregas is the W in world class but he had some ambitions that Arsenal failed to meet in his last six years at the club. His saga with Barcelona was one of the longest ever in Premier League history but Arsenal decided to give in to Barcelona after holding the fort for a very long time.

Fabregas left for Barcelona but reiterated that he’s an Arsenal fan by heart but the media Vultures recently released a report that Fabregas stated that Arsenal cannot win a trophy anytime soon:

“I want to be in a club able to win the big titles year after year and I don’t see that kind of future for Arsenal.”

“I still have many feelings for Arsenal but I fear they won’t be able to push the other big clubs in England away.”

“If you look at the team this season I can’t see them finishing in front of Manchester United or [Manchester] City, or Chelsea.”

“It was part of my decision to leave – I find it hard to see Arsenal winning the league or Champions League in the near future.”

“I hope they will replace me and the others that have left with some quality players and maybe they can take Arsenal back to their level as champions.”

There are things that are not certainly needed from footballers that were respected in their previous clubs. Fabregas is a player whose songs will be in full voice when Barcelona visits the Emirates but after these quotes, the boo boys might be on show.

However, Fabregas has denied these claims and has used Twitter as the perfect medium to back it up.

Fabregas is closing in on 1,500,000 followers but with Twitter having a limit of just 140 characters, Fabregas fully explained himself with five tweets:

@cesc4official: “I’d never speak 1 bad word about Arsenal FC, here’s one more proof that so many people put in newspaper whatever they want and its not professional.”

“I want Arsenal to be successful as much as every single fan. That’s not why i left, it was never in my mind. Arsenal FC made me who i am today.”

“And nobody will ever change that. I never gave any interview away since my press conference at my presentation and there i just said…”

“…The truth and what came out of my heart. Great words about this great football club cause that just what they deserve: succes and trophies.”

“People can hate me for leaving or remember that i gave my all for the club. But me talking 1 bad word or saying something against Arsenal FC will not be seen.”

These tweets came from Fabregas’ BlackBerry and they are good enough to quell every quote that was stated earlier by the media Vultures but as the saying goes:

“Behind every rumor, there’s an element of truth in it”

Fabregas has also revealed that he’ll leave his door open for Arsenal but I don’t think that Wenger would think of re-signing the bloke after all the drama this summer.

Arsenal recently resigned Sol Campbell and Mad Jens Lehmann but they were signings that were made out of desperation due to injury worries in the positions.

Arsenal’s midfield is blessed with a large haul of midfielders so Fabregas won’t really be needed back at the Emirates.

In other news, Arteta is pleading for patience with the new signings and Wenger wants to seek the correct balance with his Carling Spoon selection.

That’s a wrap

Sayonara.

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