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The Special One Becomes the Fired One

Football can be such a cruel sport.

One minute, things are going so well for you and you are a king on the Iron Throne like Joffrey Lannister and the next minute, things go so badly for you, that you’re treated like an outcast with some nun ringing a bell behind you and shouting ‘Shame!!!’. I guess I’m missing Games of Thrones this morning but that’s not the issue here.

Jose Mourinho, yes, that annoying egotistical cuntbutling twat of a living thing has been sacked! Yes, his Portuguese ass has been fired!

It’s not like Mourinho was the first manager to be fired at Chelsea and he certainly won’t be the last. Since Roman Abramovich took over the club in 2003, the club has had 10 managers and the table below gives a high-level overview of all the men that have received the boot by the trigger-happy dictator.

Manager Arrival Date Departure Date Major Honors
Claudio Ranieri September 00’ May 04’  
Jose Mourinho June 04’ September 07’ 05’ League Cup, 05’ Premier League, 05’ Community Shield, 06’ Premier League, 07’ League Cup, 07’ FA Cup
Avram Grant September 07’ May 08’  
Felipao July 08’ February 09’  
Ray Wilkins February 09’ February 09’  
Guus Hiddink February 09’ May 09’ 09’ FA Cup
Carlo Ancelotti July 09’ May 11’ 09’ Community Shield, 10’ Premier League, 10’ FA Cup
AVB June 11’ March 12’  
RDM March 12’ November 12’ 12’ FA Cup, 12’ Champions League
Rafael Benitez November 12’ May 13’ 13’ Europa League
Jose Mourinho (again!) June 13’ December 15’ 15’ League Cup, 15’ Premier League

Despite the fact that Chelsea has won 15 trophies since Abramovich took over, he just seems to be such an insatiable chump. This is the same reason why Pep Guardiola opted not to join the club before he chose Bayern Munich. The legendary Spanish manager stated that stability was an issue at the club and that is pretty much evident.

But how did it go all wrong for the self-proclaimed One?

He had just won the Premier League in his second coming and his ego rose from 0 to Nicklas Bendtner. His players didn’t fare too well in the World Cup – Diego Costa endured a shitty campaign with Spain, Eden Hazard didn’t light up any fireworks with Belgium and this was followed by a shocking pre-season campaign that saw the club lose two and draw two in the four games they played.

They began the campaign with a Community Shield loss to Arsenal, and albeit a non-competitive tournament, that was Arsene Wenger’s first victory over the Portuguese manager in 13 tries. Shortly afterwards, the club extended his contract till 2019 but a day after, Chelsea struggled against Swansea at home but the major talking point was his scathing attack on first-team doctor, Eva Carneiro, that saw the manager come under heavy criticism from the media. A week after Manchester City piled on the misery with an embarrassing 3-0 thrashing that saw Mourinho replace his captain, John Terry, at half time. Following further losses to Crystal Palace and Everton, Chelsea had amassed just four points from five matches. This was a team that lost only three games in the League in the previous campaign.

When Chelsea hosted Arsenal, rivalries were renewed with Wenger but his post-match press conference was a shame to say the least, as he attacked Wenger and defended Diego Costa’s shambolic behavior on the pitch. His previous club, FC Porto, defeated him in Europe then there was the loss to Southampton at home that was followed with a seven-minute interview where he lashed out at the FA, referees and laid some subtle threats to the board, claiming that there’s no manager that’s better than him in the club. This earned him a fine and touchline ban.

When West Ham hosted the Blues, Mourinho was sent to the stands following his comments to the match officials at half time. Chelsea lost that game and there was more drama when Jurgen Klopp and his resurgent Liverpool side ran out as 3-1 winners at Stamford Bridge. Mourinho gathered his coaching staff at the middle of the pitch and he was looking very bemused.

Signs of internal rife with his players began to surface when Diego Costa was dropped and he attempted to throw his training kit at his manager when he was notified that he wasn’t going to take part of the Tottenham game. The final straw came at the Leicester game were the Blues looked so lackadaisical in the game, allowing Jamie Vardy and Riyad Mahrez to steal the show. This time, Mourinho blasted that his players, stating that they had ‘betrayed’ him and he lashed out at Leicester’s ball boys.

So here we are, looking at the fifth managerial casualty of the season. Dick Advocaat was the first to resign, then Brendan Rodgers was shown the exit door and Tim Sherwood followed suit. Then there was the dear ol’ Garry Monk that was a sweetheart at Swansea but the poor turn of results forced the team’s hand to give him the boot.

Now the Special One has become the Fired One.


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Thanks a lot, Mike Dean! Best Ref in the Land

Sometimes you just want to watch a really good football match between two of England’s most successful clubs. The rivalry between both managers was very intense to the level where the journos started making a fuss if they were going to even have a handshake. That’s how hot things are when Arsenal plays Chelsea.

The game itself promised to be a pulsating encounter and both sides did their bit to play some good football… That’s till the 44th minute when one of the most despicable players you’d ever know, Diego Costa, did what he knows best and conned the ref into showing his incompetence. When you think of the fact that it’s such an experienced ref like Mike Dean, it’s even more shocking.

Costa slapped Koscielny twice with his claws but the Frenchman decided not to unleash his inner Sergio Busquets and stood his ground. Shortly afterwards, Costa was at it again, using his head / chest to hit Koscielny and he hit the turf thanks to the momentum at which he was attacked by Costa. Nine times out of 10, that would have been a red card.

However, Gabriel wasn’t going to stand for that shit. Seeing Costa bully his teammate not once but twice, so he gave the Brazilian Spaniard a piece of his own medicine and as you’d expect from a thug-turned-footballer like Costa, he and Gabriel got involved in an altercation. The referee decides to take ‘control’ of the situation and books Costa and Gabriel for their troubles and the game was meant to go on.

Then watch Costa closely, as he continues to rile up Gabriel, telling him God knows what and when he gets close to the referee, he backs Gabriel and is stamped upon by the Brazilian that obviously wasn’t aware of his presence. Next thing, Costa the bully becomes a cry baby and goes to the ref to wail about how the Big Bad Gabriel stamps on him. He’s assisted by fellow Rent Boy, Cesc Fabregas, yes, the same Fabregas that loves Arsenal with his heart, soul and spirit to coerce the ref into brandishing a red card to Gabriel.

And that was it. The Brazilian defender that was having such a good game received his marching orders because of a fellow professional’s pathetic character and a dim-witted official’s stupidity.

Of course, it was always going to be a struggle from there but it wasn’t enough for Mr. Dean. Santi Cazorla, a player that had never received a red card in over 500+ football matches for Villarreal, Malaga and Arsenal was told to go receive an early bath for making two tackles, when a certain big-arsed Branislav Ivanovic had one yellow card despite making seven fouls in the game.

It’s shameful to see how refs continue to fuck things up in the beautiful game we enjoy watching and sadly, this trend isn’t going to stop anytime soon. Two seasons ago in the same fixture, a certain Andre Marriner sent Kieran Gibbs off for a cynical foul done by Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.

The game is long gone and Chelsea have gotten three points off the Gunners but I’d want to give my profound thanks to Mike Dean, the best ref in the Land.


Chelsea vs. Arsenal Preview: A Managerial Rivalry Renewed

Jose Mourinho and Arsene Wenger aren’t the closest of buddies. They’ve exchanged a war of words with each other, they hardly exchange pleasantries and last season, Wenger went as far as shoving Mourinho when both sides clashed in Stamford Bridge last season.

After failing to best Mourinho in 12 attempts, Wenger finally got his victory, albeit in a non-competitive fixture, against his Portuguese nemesis as Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain’s stunner was enough to make the Gunners retain the Community Shield. With five Premier League games gone so far, Arsenal and Chelsea are in contrasting forms, as the Gunners are five points away from the league leaders, Manchester City, in third place, while Chelsea has endured their worst start in three decades as Mourinho’s side has amassed a solitary win, one draw and three surprising defeats, leaving them theme floating above relegation waters.

In the Champions League in midweek, Arsenal and both Manchester clubs suffered defeats while Chelsea ran riot past a hapless Maccabi Tel Aviv side. Today, all that would count for nothing. It’s Chelsea vs Arsenal, a match that brings the city of London to a stand still as the town’s most successful clubs go head to head for bragging rights.

Arsenal has suffered a lot of defeats on this ground but the Gunners last victory came as far back as 2012 when Robin van Persie smashed in a hat-trick in a 5-3 victory.

To team news, I expect Arsene Wenger to make wholesale changes to the side that struggled in Zagreb. Petr Cech would have a game of his life as he returns to a place he once called home for 11 years in his illustrious career. Hector Bellerin and Nacho Monreal will return to the starting XI in the defense and with Per Mertesacker not deemed fit enough to start, we would see the Koscielny – Gabriel combo in the heart of the defense.

Francis Coquelin will replace Mikel Arteta in the holding role alongside Santi Cazorla while Aaron Ramsey will definitely come in for the Ox at the right. There would obviously be the conundrum of who’d lead the line with Olivier Giroud and Theo Walcott giving their manager something to think about.

It promises to be an exciting encounter.