After a month long wait, the Carling Spoon is back again. The good part is that the “cobwebs” of the Emirates Stadium cabinet might be removed in late February or early March. The Gentle Frog’s Carpenters beat McAlbino’s Blues thanks to a classic porn movie act by their goalie Fosty Benny. Fosty Benny was a hero in the game against the Cashlings. That’s football for you. The Tractor Army is now under the command of General Pot-Bellied Paul Jewelry. Jewelry has a little Carling Spoon history with us. A Jason RobRob last minute goal was enough to send WigWig to the final of this tourney at our expense. They were spanked 4-0 by the Red Hell Owners anyway. Jewelry has the Premier League record of being the manager to coach the worst club in Premier League history…..The Sallah Goatees or Rams as they are called in some parts of the World. The Sallah Goatees amassed a record negative goal difference of -69 and a record low 11 points in the Premier League with 1 win, 8 draws and 29 defeats. But this is football, one minute you’re a king on the throne, the next you become an evil villain. Carlo the Cannibal and his Cashling pensioners scored 1 million goals last season, they just became 1 year older this year and it’s definitely telling on them.
We visit Portman Road knowing that a victory tonight and another in a fortnight will send us to Wembley in a bid to win our first trophy in 5 years.
Club captain, Cesc “El Capitan” Fabregas knows the importance of tonight’s match. He wrote this on Twitter yesterday night; RT @Cesc4official : “So looking forward to the game tomorrow. A semi final is always important whatever the competition is, so let’s go for it”.
I don’t expect El Capitan to start tonight’s match but he’ll probably be on the subs bench just in case he’s needed to save our skins like he did on Saturday. AW the Alchemist also knows the importance of tonight’s fixture and he calls for focus. He says,” I think the Leeds game will help us focus well at Ipswich. We will certainly be on our toes going to Ipswich. That game [against Leeds] has shown that against a Championship team we must be completely up for it and focused from the first minute if we don’t want to be surprised. We have been warned.”
The Tractor Army made life a bit easy for Carlo the Cannibal by opening their floodgates to receive a 7-0 walloping in the Blue Bridge in the FA Cup.
Our last three Carling Spoon semis haven’t been too nice. In 03’ we lost to Malboro Cigarette FC, In 06’ WigWig gave us a sucker punch and in 08’ Twitch FC mutilated our side to get their first victory against us in many years.
Looking at the possible team line up for tonight, its damn obvious that Wojciech “Szszsz” Szczesny will saty in between the sticks tonight. I feel he’s now our “Cup” keeper while Lukasz “Flyin Fabbi” Fabianski will be our “Premier and Champions League “ keeper. Bacary “Timaya” Sagna is still suspended so Emmanuel “Farma” Eboue will retain his place in the team. The Farma will also play in Upton Park when we take on the Carpenters. Despite the fact that our opposition is weaker than us on paper, I would like to see a better performance for our Farma tonight. This was the player that ended Lauren’s career at Arsenal so he should start playing like someone that wants to stake a claim for a first team place. Kieran “Ogo Gibbsy” Gibbs is still not in good terms with his physio girlie so he’ll provide the adequate cover for the left back position. There are worrying issues in our center back position. AW the Alchemist has removed the dust from the cheque book but he hasn’t signed on it yet. He intends to hand out a debut to reserves captain, Ignasi “El Youngita” Miquel. The likeliest guess for a situation like this would have been Havard Nordtviet but he’s now drinking beer with the German lot at Monchengladbach. Johan “Injorou” Djourou will be rested tonight so Laurent “Kos100%tackle” Koscielny will be the one to steady the defensive ship tonight. I believe the captain of the night will be Tomas “Banana Lomo” Rosicky.
The issue remains who’ll be used in the two holding positions. Despite his poor display against Leeds, NwaSamba Denilson will be given another chance to prove that he’s not just a “fringe” player. The other position might go to Jack “Whizkhid” Wilshere, Abou “Diabytes” Diaby or Aaron “Rambo” Ramsey. I would love to see Rambo put on the Red and White again……or Yellow and Maroon since we might wear our away strip tonight. I’ve iterated that he’s in dire need of matches to gain full fitness and this game will be absolutely vital for him.
In the attack, I expect Nicklas “Wald Bezt” Bendtner to spearhead the attacking trio. The move to MadMan Coyle’s Nomads hasn’t been finalized yet so I believe Carlos “Aztec Warrior” Vela will have another chance to chip the Tractor Army goalie. Theo “Wal Kuint” Walcott should be the final piece in the jigsaw puzzle.
My expected lineup should be
Szszsz
Ogo Gibbsy-El Youngita-Kos100%tackle-Farma
Rambo-Banana Lomo-NwaSamba
Aztec Warrior-Wald Bezt-Wal Kuint
We can continue to cry about a defensive signing tomorrow.
Let’s make do with what we have tonight.
Enjoy the game wherever you are.

Sayonara.