Daily Archives: May 12, 2011

Man City wants ‘Cescy’ football, more transfer speculation by the media Vultures and Nicklas Bendtner

Football is a very beautiful and astonishing game. After one match you’ll be treated as a king by the fans and pundits alike, after another match the fans will ask for a guillotine with your head as the main prize.  When AW won 2 doubles and went unbeaten to win the league in 2004, he was the best manager Planet Earth had to offer for Arsenal. Now that he has gone through 6 good years without securing any silverware of any sort, the same Arsenal fans that worshipped him as Planet Earth’s best manager want his head on a plate. Peter Crouch of Tottenham was the man that scored the goal that propelled them to their maiden Champions League adventure against Man City. He was also the player that scored that all-important in San Siro against AC Milan that catapulted newbies Tottenham to the last 8 of the Champions League. This same Crouch was the man that got the fastest red card for 2 bookable offences at the Bernabeu. Real Madrid made their numerical advantage count by demolishing them with 4 goals. Peter Crouch recently turned to a villain by scoring an own goal when Tottenham visited Man City for that final Champions League place.

The Arab Moneybags are presently 2 points behind Arsenal and can usurp the Gunners for that final automatic Champions League spot if the Gunners continue their complacent run. Should the Gunners finish the season in 4th place, they’ll have to brace themselves to play potential banana skins like Bayern Munich or Villarreal in the qualifying phase. A loss at this stage would mean that Arsenal would play its European encounters on Thursday nights. We know what Thursday night football means; Europa League.

Man City has a FA Cup final coming up this weekend against those Rugby bullies that beat us last Sunday. Their Arab owners have spent £∞m in the space of 3 years and have finally achieved one of their aims, Champions League football. A win against Stoke will be the icing on the cake for Mancini and his high earning goons. This now means that Mancini could request for a transfer war chest of £∞m so that he could attract more players with his enticing offer of fat salaries. Mancini can actually buy the Champions League trophy if it was a player. He has wasted on time in telling the media Vultures the players that he plans to give salaries that’ll make Wayne Rooney feel like a pauper.

The first name on his list is a player you wouldn’t expect any club to set their sights on, Xavi Hernandez. This is a move that is highly welcome by me. Let the loud mouthed oaf know how it feels to be under the spotlight for transfer speculation. I’d be delighted if Yaya Toure comes out to say that Xavi possesses Man City’s Arab money DNA before Silva will publicly declare that he’ll love his national teammate to join him at City. He’ll probably say that Man City will allow him ‘on loan’ at Barca before signing him in January. Still sticking with Man City, Mancini has also the media Vultures that he’ll love to play Cescy football next season. This means that Man City has joined the League of Extraordinary Cesc Fabregas buying Daydreamers and Cuntbags who spend every summer sniffing on our captain’s butt like the dogs they are. Barcelona is the butt sniffer-in-chief while Madrid just joined the league.

Man City’s Arab money muscle outweighs Barca and Madrid’s transfer wealth together. This season Barca bought Mascherano and Villa and had to borrow money from the bank to stay afloat while Madrid had the aid of the government when they were securing deals for Benzema, Ronaldo, Kaka and the rest. When Sheikh Al Khardoon took over at the helm of affairs in Man City, it was reported that he released money for 3 bids to be made on the 1st of February; Berbatov who was already on the verge of joining Man Utd, Villa who was on Valencia’s transfer list and Robinho who was unhappy in Madrid. The signing of the last aforementioned name was secured for £32.5m. If Man City wants Fabregas, they must give Arsenal ‘an offer that they can’t refuse’ like the type that they wanted to offer Kaka when he was still in Milan. I would settle for a £91m bid and a salary of £350,000 per week for El Capitan. If they can’t match this, they should shove the money up their pile holes and buy another Milner-like player for £30m because the last time I checked the Forbes richest sports teams list, Arsenal was positioned at 3rd place behind Man Utd and Real Madrid thanks to their merchandise, deals with companies and their large fan base in Asia and North America respectively. If Man Utd dares to sell Wong Fei-Hong, they’ll lose their enormous fan base in Asia.

On second thought, if Man City brings £91m for Fabregas, I expect AW, Gazidis and Kroenke to take a photo with their middle fingers up in the air saying, “Man City, thanks but no thanks….and errrm, FUCK YOU”. We lost our trophy hunt this year because we lacked quality in the games that really mattered. Our defense was very poor while our attackers were very profligate. rVp has smashed in 20 goals in this campaign while Nasri and Walcott scored 15 and 12 respectively but our defense has conceded a shitload of avoidable goals that have obliterated our silverware chase for this season at least. Every gooner worldwide has fixed their eyes on what AW will do this summer because other teams will also be reinforcing their squads. Man Utd will buy a player or two this summer; Chelsea will also do the same. King Kenny and his Red Army will aim to break into the top four again next season and Man City is sure to be on the headlines with big money signings. If AW squeezes his hands this summer, I believe that we’ll gear ourselves up for the inevitable because our squad is in dire need of change.

The media Vultures say that Arsenal has added that long Venezuelan that has been battling with club bouncer Baptista all season to avoid relegation. He goes by the name Rondon. The name Rondon reminds me of Tomasz because he gave me a collection of Jamaican pumpum riddim music that belongs to a bloke called DJ Rondon. They also say that AW wants to fight with Liverpool to go back to his vomit in the form of Beans head Diarra. AW opted for Campbell and Mad Jens because the situation at that point in time was critical. Diarra is actually a good player but he would have been a first team starter at Arsenal if he was patient enough.

The media Vultures also say that Carlos Vela may be on his way to Anderlecht when his loan spell with West Brom expires. I don’t know where to place our young Aztec Warrior but I hope that we don’t sell him because I feel that he’ll have something to offer in the near future. AW has the final say though.

The major headline of the day is that Bayern are close to approaching us for the services of Bacary Sagna. To an extent, I can understand Cesc Fabregas leaving the Arsenal; Lack of silverware, Barca DNA, Ramsey, Wilshere behind him and a host of other reasons best known to Osama who is presently at the bottom of the sea. I can also understand Arshavin going back to Zenit; lack of starting chances, dip in form, homesickness and all but Sagna, HELL NO!!!

I’ve written before that in World football, I can only think of 3 right backs better than Arsenal’s right back; Dani Alves, Maicon and Rafael Nadal of Real Madrid. These 3 players are presently happy in their clubs so it will be impossible to buy them if we sell a World Class right back like Sagna. The way he combines attack with defense and still maintains his stamina for 90 minutes is second to none. He has been Arsenal’s most consistent player in the 4 seasons he has been with the club. He also takes care of himself well and hardly ever injures himself. The only long term injury he had was that twisted ankle he suffered in Stamford Bridge in 2008. So I hope that the media Vultures are joking with this one.

Nicklas Bendtner was Arsenal’s most improved player last season because he came out from the shadows to fill up rVp’s boots when he was out injured for all eternity. He scored vital late goals against Hull and Wolves that kept our fading title challenge alive. He also scored his first senior hattrick against Porto in the Champions League. This season, B52 has spent a lot of time warming the bench with his ass and has made sub appearances than starts. His biggest task all season long was to finish off the brilliant work that was started by Jack Wilshere in the Nou Camp but he didn’t stand up to the occasion. I still believe that rVp would have damaged Valdes’ net and we would have went on to punish Shakhtar for making us go through a scare in the hands of Barcelona but it was not to be.

AW has acknowledged the fact that he’s not happy and said that he was going to talk to Mr. Nick but the Great Dane had this to say to the media Vultures,

“I need to have a talk with him because I’m not satisfied with playing on the right wing, which I’ve done more or less all season long. It’s certainly not the best thing for me but it’s not up to me and sometimes you have to adapt to what the manager says.”

B52 has to understand that the team should come before self. He and rVp are a class apart so he has to understand that as long as rVp is fit, he is going to play. rVp has scored 20 goals in this campaign and 75% of those goals have come in the Premier League. Bendtner on the other hand has 9 goals to his name this season. 4 came in the FA Cup against ‘weak’ opposition and 3 came in the Carling Spoon. I’m not mocking Bendtner in any way but if he feels that he doesn’t want to adjust to his newly found position, he should tell AW that he wants to go. Arsenal’s 4-2-3-1 formation is a very fluid formation that allows the players to move freely and interchange positions with each other. Bendtner shouldn’t forget that rVp’s bones are made from glass.

That’s a wrap for today.

The tip of the day comes from an ex-gunner Patrick Vieira,

“When they are in trouble, they always concede a goal, a big team when it’s under pressure, it pulls together, it makes the trouble go away. Sometimes you know you have difficult periods, even the best teams. You accept the opponent is stronger, you defend, you stay strong, more compact. You accept you have to suffer. We did it in the [2005] FA Cup final against Manchester United. I’ve no idea how we won – United were all over us for 90 minutes. We knew the only way to win was penalties. Some days are like this. It’s not your day. Accept it and find a different way to win. Fight for each other. It’s not the way you want, but what’s important is to win.”

Food for thought AW.