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God Answers Wenger’s Champions League Prayers

In the aftermath of the impressive win over Newcastle, Arsene Wenger was asked about his take on the upcoming Champions League draws and as expected, he responded with in typical Arsene Wenger style,

I’ll go to church on Sunday

Little did we know that Wenger probably went to church to say a little prayer to the Lord. I’m not sure if he rolled on the floor like some folks do in this part of the world but he probably said a prayer like this,

Lord, you know I’ve been very loyal to Arsenal football club and I want to achieve great things with the club. Yes, I’ve won stuff in the past but after nine long years of longsuffering, I finally got my hands on the FA Cup. Seeing my players lift me up and pour some champagne on my body was a feeling I’ve longed for and it was good to get that trophy drought of our backs.

The Champions League is a competition that continues to evade me and since that famous night in Paris in 2006, I and my lads haven’t found any joy in this competition. Yes, they say that it’s good to win your group to get a favorable draw and we did that in the 2009/10 season. What did we get after spanking FC Porto? A quarterfinal against Barcelona with Leo Messi in imperious form. He scored four goals against my lads in Camp Nou despite our spirited performance at the Emirates but as always it was never enough.

Remember that my lads also won the group in the 2011/12 season and we were paired against AC Milan. With a pitch that was just good enough to rear cattle, we were thrashed with four goals and we put up a valiant display in front of our home fans but it wasn’t enough. Since then, it has always been either Barcelona or Bayern Munich and of course, we know how those fixtures have panned out against my lads.

Good Lord, I’m not a fan of deja vu and in all honesty I wouldn’t want to play Barcelona and Bayern again. I most certainly don’t want to play Real Madrid, not in the form they are in and especially not against a player like Cristiano Ronaldo (*Wenger sobs: if only I signed him when he was still a young lad*)

Good Lord, teams like Atletico, AS Monaco and FC Porto are also in this competition. Please show me some love and give me a favorable draw *tears rolling down his right eye at this point in time, just the right eye*

I believe you can do it for me. But till then I’d keep my fingers crossed. I remain loyal. Arsene

Looking at the outcome of the draws, the Good Lord definitely answered Wenger’s prayers.

Hallelujah somebody!

Sayonara