Premier League football kicked off early yesterday with the Manchester Derby as the lunch time fixture, and as a neutral, the little boy inside me sang ‘Glory Glory Man United’, as the Red half of Manchester got the result that all Arsenal fans hoped for.

Yes, there were concerns when that 100 million quid short stockings wielding flop nodded home Kevin De Bruyne’s delicate chip, but the equalizer sparked some controversy as the disgusting officiating of Premier League referees took center stage yet again. Even though I enjoyed that Bruno Fernandes’ equalizer, as it paved the way for the imperious Marcus Rashford to toe poke home the winner, I would have been extremely livid if such a terrible decision went against us.

‘He was behind the defensive line and went for the ball but did not touch it’ . That’s the b in the word, bollocks, but hey, we move. City dropped the points and all is well in the Arsenal world.

The Gunners go into today’s North London Derby knowing that a victory over their fierce rivals will extend their lead at the top to eight points, and I’m sure as hell, that’s the best form of motivation we can give the lads.

Mikel Arteta’s side doesn’t have a clean bill of health with Gabriel Jesus and Reiss Nelson still remaining the major absentees, while Bukayo Saka is expected to run off a knock he sustained against Oxford. The English starboy has been talismanic for Arsenal following his meteoric rise, but it was a major concern seeing him hit the deck at the home of the lower league outfit. Spurs on the otherhand, will be without Lucas Moura, Rodrigo Bentacur and Richarlison. Bentacur will be a big miss for Antonio Conte, as he’s one of the key components for the Italian’s unique footballing style called Satanball.

The Gunners will have to be weary of the Scourge of North London, Harry Kane, that has somehow amassed a shit load of goals in this exact fixture. The Gunners will have to figure a way out to keep Kane shut, for the entire game and of course, try their possible best to avoid the inevitable Spurs penalty. These days all Harry Kane needs to do in the box is to let out a disgusting fart towards the ref’s direction, leaving the poor official no choice but to point to the spot because he certainly assumed William Saliba or Gabriel did it.

I expect the Gunners and their hosts to get stuck in and we are in for yet another great game of football. The stakes are very high and both sides will certainly play like it’s their last game on this frigging planet.

Unless you have been living in a cave with no access to internet and cable TV, you must have read somewhere that Arsenal is interested in signing Shakhtar Donetsk’s Ukrainian wonder kid, Mykhailo Mudryk. And you must have also seen with your functioning eyes that Mudryk wants Arsenal too. This love affair has been going on for weeks but there has been a major factor that hasn’t allowed it come to fruition – money.

Shakhtar believes that Mudryk should cost an arm, a leg and many more body parts and they have slapped a huge price tag on his blonde head. The reports stated that Arsenal had made two bids for the forward, which have been rejected by Shakhtar, and plans were in place for the Gunners to make what they believed was going to be their third and final bid – €70m with €25m in add-ons, and it was well publicized that Arsenal’s Director of Football, Edu Gaspar, was on his way to Poland to strike a deal with the Shakhtar chiefs.

Sensationally, the Big Bad Bully, or Boehly, as it’s spelled in Sumarian, is back again with a bang, and certified journos like David Ornstein and Fabrizio Romano, have reported that Chelsea is seeking to hijack the deal with an astonishing bid worth €100m for Mudryk. The Shakhtar higher ups have always been about how much they could milk from this Mudryk’s interest from elite football clubs, so it’s no surprise to hear that the offer from Chelsea has been accepted and Mudryk is already on his way to London for a medical.

Just imagine flirting, texting and wooing that beautiful chick for many weeks, only for one Boehly to come around and marry her right in front of you.

In all honesty, I haven’t watched Mudryk consistently to see how awesome he is, but of course, I had to resort to them good ol’ YouTube clips and I was awed by his blistering pace, close control, creativity and finishing. Arsenal’s interest also showed that Arteta wanted him at all costs and was hopeful that Edu and Co. would get it over the line, but it’s looking like he’s going to Chelsea to join their roulette of wingers, under a crappy coach like Graham Potter.

Best of luck to Mudryk, and I hope he finds happiness in the massive salary they are offering him on his seven-year contract.

Like Raphinha in the summer, Arsenal has to take this on the chin and move to the next target, because we need some attacking depth to continue our title charge.

Sayonara. 

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