Arsenal visit the Nou Camp: Impossible is nothing

Apologies for not writing a post yesterday. I had loads of stuff that I had to attend to.

Arsenal will go to NASA to use their space shuttle for an intergalactic travel to the planet called Krypton. A planet has houses some footballing aliens.

The Nou Camp is a stadium that has floored the biggest of teams in World football.

Bayern Munich received 4, Real Madrid opened up their backsides to receive 5. Funnily enough, English sides have been impressive at the Nou Camp.

Guus Guus’ Cashlings played anti-football for 90 minutes earning a goalless draw. White zombie Iniesta’s late strike sent the Aliens to the final. That goal brought a big smile on my face because it meant that Arsenal could still win Europe’s elite competition before the Cashlings. Count Rafa’s Red Vampires also secured a famous win against the alien outfit. A porn act by Victor V was all recent hattrick hero Kuyt needed to slam the ball to the roof of the net. Liverpool ran out as 2-1 winners. Title rivals, Red Hell Owners also stopped the aliens from scoring in Krypton. CR7 even missed a penalty. St. Paulinus scored the only goal that decided the tie in the second leg at Old Strafford.

Speaking of Paul, my current BlackBerry display picture is a picture of Paul the Octopus standing on Arsenal’s glass box instead of Barca. You can see it by clicking on this link http://yfrog.com/h0na4hkj

We are the only English side that haven’t gotten any joy from our space shuttle visits to Krypton. Last season we went to the Nou Camp with our back bone missing. That little Wizard put up a 10/10 performance.

I will never forget the one-two he did with Silvestre. That old cuntbag that cost a 750 recharge card…that’s if you take out the other three zeros.

Today’s game will be a lot different. As El Capitan said a fortnight ago, we don’t have 5-6 players injured and we are 1 year older.

The aliens have been unforgiving at home this season. The only team that has come out with all 3 points was Hercules CF of Spain. Maybe the Spanish midtable side considered the aliens as their very own “Hydra”.

To team news, we head to Nou Camp without our African Blondie, Alex Song. He also missed the return fixture last season.

The better news is that our goal hungry vampire rVp has passed his fitness test and will be in the space shuttle that heads to Krypton this evening.

In as much as I’m happy that rVp is “fit” again. I sincerely hope that his services won’t be needed in the game. After crocking his glass knee in Wembley, he was diagnosed to be out for the period a hen sits on her eggs. rVp is “back” after 10 days. That’s 11 days before schedule.

The last time we tried to speed up a player before his appointed time in the Champions League ended up ruining the player’s season. Thierry “Igwe” Henry was rushed back into action against PSV in the 2006/07 season. He got injured again in that game and his season was officially over. That defender whose shots could be auditioned for a Power Horse advert scored an own goal and PSV’s winning goal.

I sincerely hope that rVp won’t join that league of season enders.

Wojciech Szczesny’s first true test was in Old Strafford on the 13th of December. He performed admirably. His second test came up in Wembley but his defender had a cock-up with him thereby handing the prize to the “enemy”. Tonight will be a true test for Szczesny. A clean sheet tonight will undoubtedly be the most important in his fledgling Arsenal career.

Clichy will also have the daunting task of stopping that Wizard from attacking through their right flank. The Wizard spent more time in the centre of the pitch while Saturn head Alves took over the mantle of being the right winger/wingback.

I have no problems with the Sagna /Pedro contest. I’m pretty sure that someone would be locked up in a “cage”. Djourcielny will have the threat of David son of Villa to contend with. That striker is the C in clinical so our centre backs will have their work cut out.

Wilshere is sure of his holding spot but everyone is guessing who his partner would be. Will AW the Alchemist opt for the passing passenger Denilson or the “loose nutted” Diabytes infested player.

On his day, Diaby can be a good player but when he wants to frustrate you with his play, you’ll be better off shooting your ass with a rifle or having yourself sleep on sharp concrete nails while deceiving yourself that it’s acupuncture. Denilson on the other hand does his passing thing but has poor awareness and positioning. Let’s not forget that he lacks concentration at times but if I’m left to pick between the Devil and the deep blue sea, I’ll dive with joy into the sea because I stand a chance of swimming a bit before the ER rescue team arrives. We all know that there’s only one way to meet the Devil…..so Denilson it is.

El Capitan missed out of this encounter last year was almost odds-on to miss this one again after he tweaked his hammy but it seems as if there’ll be only one man that will lead the Arsenal out tonight. I’m even tipping him to score that vital away goal for us today.

We all know who the usual suspects of the attacking triumvirate would be.

A much improved AA23 on the left, our own Frenchie wizard El Rufai Nasri Potter on the right and our technically gifted Wald Bezt striker B52. Our flying Dutchman will have to settle for a bench in the dugout.

My expected lineup should be

Szszsz
Sagna-Djourcielny-Clichy
Denilson-El Capitan-Whizkhid
Nasri-B52-AA23

I just hope that my blog post tomorrow will be one of the types I’m reserving for May.

Arsenal Football Club

Impossible is Nothing.

Sayonara

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About enigma106

An Arsenal fan with a good sense of humor

Posted on March 8, 2011, in Champions League, Match Preview and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. got huge hopes

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